Torn Apart
by wildflowers15
Summary: In a life she has no control over, Eliana just wanted to be free. Free to be herself, to do what she likes, & to be with who she truly loves. She did not want to believe what they were saying about her family or what Ned Stark told her. She definitely never wanted to be queen. Torn between love & duty, the one true-born princess is forced into a game she only ever wanted to escape.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello!**

 **This is a rewrite of _Wildflower in the North_. A much different (and hopefully better) rewrite.**

 **If you read the previous fic, then thank you so much for giving this new one a chance. This chapter is basically the same as it was before with very minor tweaks, but it will be the only one like that. The rest of the chapters will be totally different. (I might reuse scenes, but they won't be identical).**

 **If you haven't read the previous fic, then welcome and thank you for giving it a chance!**

 **I hope you enjoy!**

* * *

"What have you done to my daughter?" Robert's voice booms throughout the empty court.

"What are you talking about?" Cersei returns, her tone filled with irritation as usual, but with a touch of confusion now.

"You've turned her into some airheaded mockingbird that does and says whatever _you_ want her to!"

"I have done no such thing, Robert!"

Hidden behind a pillar, Ellie can see her father standing in front of the Iron Throne, his crown slanted atop his head as he flails in anger. His chubby cheeks are bright red even beneath the scraggly beard. Her mother stands below, glaring up at the man she was forced to marry only a little over a decade ago. She denies having any effect on their eldest child, but everyone in the castle knows that it's a lie. After years of trying, Cersei finally managed to sink her claws into her wild child. Eliana has become the little princess she always wanted and the person her father never wanted her to be.

The princess saw Robert's disappointment earlier when he found her sewing. The crowned stag she'd been embroidering on a new dress did little to impress him. The king's look of disgust only grew as he listened to his daughter recount her last few days. Sewing, singing, and playing harp were things Ellie never cared to do, but had seemingly grown to love in recent months. The fact that she couldn't describe any cuts, bruises, or stains she'd recently received was proof that the queen had accomplished the unimaginable.

"Haven't done anything?" he roars. His anger is so buoyant that it makes Ellie tremble. "I barely recognize her!"

The young girl feels the sharp sting of her father's words. It isn't an exaggeration, she knows that, but it still hurts. She lived her life as the king's favorite and now she fears he may dismiss her as he does with Joffrey. And if both her parents do not care for her, what is she to do?

"Eliana was out of control, Robert, and you allowed it. She is finally behaving as a princess should and not as a little boy in the streets."

"She was the only person in this awful castle who could bring life to it! You have snuffed out the light in her and replaced it with your own misery, Cersei!"

His words become too much for Ellie, so she quickly slips out of her hiding spot and makes a run for her chambers. In her blurry-eyed haste, she nearly collides with her brother as she rounds a corner. She isn't aware the tears have already begun to fall until she registers the delighted sneer on his face. Taking full advantage of an opportunity to kick the older girl when she's down, Joffrey begins spewing mean words to break her more.

"What are you sniveling about? Did Mother catch you doing something stupid again?"

"Shove off, Joffrey," she mutters as she tries to pass him. He blocks her path, pushing her backwards.

"What was that, crybaby?" he hisses.

"Get out of my way!"

"Or what? You'll tell Father?" Joffrey challenges. "Haven't you heard, Ellie? He doesn't like you anymore."

Even though she knows her brother is a liar, it feels like the truth and he succeeds in trying to hurt her. The flood of tears makes Joffrey grin and the sight only sickens the princess with anger. Without thinking, she shoves him back with as much force as she can muster. The act catches him off guard enough that he loses his balance and tumbles to the stone floor on his bottom.

"At least he liked me once!" Ellie yells before taking off in a sprint.

…

Several days pass after eavesdropping on her parents' conversation and Robert has not spoken to Ellie once. He hasn't come to see her or request that she join him at court. He doesn't even spare her a glance when they're in the same room. The princess is sure he no longer loves her because she has transformed into what her mother wants. Each time she thinks of losing her father's favor, a wave of sadness courses through her and she must fight with all her might to keep the tears at bay.

The day after Joffrey went to their Mother and tattled, Ellie was confined to her chambers. When the princess tried to tell her side of the story, Cersei wouldn't heart it – as always. The only thing she cared to say was that princesses do not push people, especially not princes. When her punishment is over, she spends most of her time in the gardens because Joffrey and her parents never come here and there's plenty of places to hide from the guards.

Proof of that comes as she sinks further behind a bush of roses while armored men scramble past in search of her. She will surely be in trouble, once for hiding and another time for getting so dirty, but that doesn't stop her. If anything, Ellie finds her fingers curling in the dirt just to get messier. It will take an hour just for one of her handmaidens to get all the soil out from underneath each nail.

Just as the princess releases a sigh, enjoying the sound of grown men helplessly searching for a little girl, large hands come beneath her arms. She lets out a squeal of surprise as she's lifted over the roses and placed back on the path. Forced to crane her neck, Ellie stares up at the scarred face of the Hound while he scowls down at her grimly. She huffs in frustration but is not surprised that he found her. He's the only one who usually can.

"Hello, Sandor," Ellie grumbles.

"Your Grace," he bows slightly. "Your parents are looking for you."

"Why?"

"I don't know. Come," he orders, pointing in the direction of the castle.

"Can't you pretend you didn't find me?"

"No."

"You used to be more fun," Ellie quips.

"As did you, Princess," Sandor mutters, though Ellie is unsure if she is meant to hear.

Stomping rather unladylike towards the castle, she abandons her haven in the gardens and goes to court where the king and queen wait. Joined by Lord Arryn, Robert's Hand, and the Kingsguard, she finds her father on the Iron Throne and her mother standing beside him. A sense of dread fills the young girl as she makes the long walk from the large, double doors to the end of the throne room. She looks up at Sandor in question, but he does not return her glance.

When Ellie reaches the bottom of the few steps leading to the king's seat, she curtsies as she was taught and only barely catches her father's displeased sigh.

"What have you done to your gown, Eliana?" Cersei questions.

"I was in the garden," she mumbles as an answer, looking down at the dirt-stained dress.

"She was being a child, Cersei," Robert snaps dismissively. "Ellie, we have news for you."

"What is it?" The princess asks suspiciously before holding her breath in wait of the answer.

"We have decided to send you to Winterfell early instead of waiting until you come of age."

The breath she is holding comes out in a swift gush as Ellie searches her parents' expressions for any sign that this is a joke. The solemn look on her mother's face tells her that it is not and the pleased look on her father's adds to her shock. The princess' eyes quickly shift to the other men in the room to find Lord Arryn smiling in encouragement and her Uncle Jaime frowning in disagreement. Her gaze finally returns to the king who is watching her reaction intently.

"B-but I can't get married yet," she argues.

"Of course you can't," Robert laughs. "You are only ten. No, you will be Lord and Lady Stark's ward until it is time for you to marry their son."

"You don't want me to live here anymore?" Ellie questions as sorrow consumes her. "Is this because I pushed Joff? He deserved it, I swear! I didn't even hurt him. He's always shoving me, and I get scrapes and bruises, but he didn't even get dirty!"

"You pushed your brother…? This has nothing to do with that," he says as he waves his hand for emphasis. "If you're going to be the Lady of Winterfell and the Wardeness of the North someday, you ought to live there and meet your people. Get to know your new home."

"But this is supposed to be my home until I marry…"

"You've always wanted to leave King's Landing before, you don't anymore?"

"Not as a punishment," she mutters.

"Punishment?" Robert scoffs. "This is not a punishment."

"She does not want to go, Robert. Why must you force her?" Cersei intervenes.

"She does want to go, she just doesn't understand," the king sighs. "Leave us."

"I will not," the queen quips.

"All of you, out!" He bellows. " _Now_!"

Those in the throne room sort of scatter out, Cersei being the only one who seems to hesitate. Another harsh look from Robert and she storms out after her twin, leaving the princess alone with the king and his disappointment in her.

"Come here, Ellie," he says after the silence envelopes them.

"Mother says –"

"Damn it! I don't care what your mother says!" He cuts her off as his face turns red. "Come up here, girl."

Though she cannot count how many times she's gotten in trouble with her mother for completely disregarding the significance of the throne just to speak with her father, she now climbs the short steps to stand before him and await the dismissal that will send her all the way up north.

"Father, I don't know what I've done wrong," she tells him, desperate to fix whatever she has ruined, and suddenly fighting the urge to cry.

"Eliana, you have done nothing wrong. Why do you think you have?" he demands.

"Because you're sending me away."

"You've never liked it here, you've always wanted to go to Winterfell, why would it be a punishment?" Robert questions, continuing when the young girl remains silent. "This is for your own good, Ellie. I don't like what you've become."

"What do you mean, Father?"

The king leans forward so they are at eye level as he speaks. "This is no place for someone like you. Wildflowers do not blossom in gardens, Ellie. You need freedom and so long as your mother has her way, you will never be free."

…

The wheelhouse comes to a rough and final stop as they reach their destination after the long journey north. The air is far colder than Ellie ever imagined, so she pulls her cloak tighter around her small body. Across from her, one of her handmaidens sits with an encouraging smile, but the one beside her is obviously forcing her happy expression. The princess does not blame her, in fact, she feels bad for them. She is quite certain that no southerner would voluntarily come here, and these ladies were forced by the queen to continue attending to her oldest child.

Since the moment they began the trip, Ellie has been confined to this makeshift cell. She begged Uncle Jon to allow her to ride, but he only let her on the safest parts of the King's Road. Unfortunately, the princess learned that there are very few safe parts. The young girl was certain that if the journey lasted even one more day, she would lose her mind. Only, now the trip has come to an end and she finds herself silently praying for more time.

Eliana is moments away from meeting the boy she has been betrothed to since birth and the family with whom she'll spend the rest of her life. With such pressure, she finds herself frozen amongst the plush pillows, her heart pounding so loudly that she is sure everyone must hear it. Suddenly, the door opens, letting in a gust of cold air, and the princess nearly chokes on her own fear.

The two handmaidens climb out, leaving Ellie with her own insecurities. _What if they don't like me? What if Robb Stark thinks I'm ugly? What if he hates me and doesn't wish to marry me? What if Lady Stark is as unbearable as Mother? What will I do if I hate my new home more than my last one? What if Uncle Jaime was right – I'm just like Mother, which can only mean that I'm doomed to be as miserable as her when I reach adulthood?_

"Your Grace," Lord Arryn's voice breaks through the storm consuming her. He pokes his head through the open door and smiles gently. "Come along, Princess. They're waiting."

Cersei's parting words come to the forefront of her mind.

 _"Remember who you are, Eliana. You're a princess, the oldest child of the king. Never forget it."_

 _I am a princess_ , Ellie reminds herself as Lord Arryn ducks back out of the carriage. _I'm a proper princess._

With a deep breath, she finally forces herself to move. Taking hold of Uncle Jon's offered hand, he helps her down the short steps of the wheelhouse before escorting her towards the large group of people waiting to meet the princess. They all bow and curtsy at the sight of her as she stops in front of the man she can only assume is Lord Stark. Shivering from the chill seeping through her cloak, Ellie looks up at her father's dearest friend with a heavy heart.

"Your Grace, this is Lord Eddard Stark of Winterfell, Warden of the North," Uncle Jon introduces. "May I present the Princess Eliana."

"It's an honor, Princess," Lord Stark says as he takes her small, frozen hand from Lord Arryn's and kisses it.

"Th-the honor is mine, my lord," she tells him in a shaky voice. "I thank you for – for…allowing me…"

Ellie forgets what she is supposed to say and frustration colors her cheeks. It was all written down and she studied it the whole way, but it's as if her mind has gone completely blank. She glances nervously at her Uncle Jon who nods in encouragement. Releasing a shuddery breath, her gaze returns to Lord Stark's patient stare, but she can feel everyone else watching expectantly. Embarrassment runs through her and tears suddenly sting the corners of her eyes as she looks down in shame.

"Forgive me, my lord. I've forgotten myself," she mutters with the irrational fear of her mother sensing her failure and appearing out of thin air to reprimand her.

Unexpectedly, soft, warm fingers gently lift Ellie's chin and she finds herself staring into the kind, blue eyes of an unfamiliar woman. Her red hair is pulled back in a long braid and her smile somehow warms the child who shivers in the northern cold.

"You needn't fear, Princess. It has been a long journey for you," the woman assures.

"I'd shame my mother forgetting myself like this," Ellie whispers.

"You shame no one, sweet girl."

The girl's eyes widen in surprise, but the tears that burned in them before have dried. After Eliana takes a deep breath and straightens her spine, the woman releases her chin with another smile.

"Princess, this is Lady Catelyn Stark," Lord Arryn informs her, and she smiles in relief. Ellie is to be her ward, so she breathes easier knowing that Lady Stark seems nothing like Cersei.

"Thank you for opening up your home to me, my lord, my lady. I am quite delighted to be in Winterfell," the princess says with newfound confidence. She glances at Lord Arryn and receives a nod of approval that leaves her grinning in pride.

"May I present my son, Your Grace," Lord Stark says as a boy steps forward from beside him. "This is Robb."

Ellie looks at the boy hesitantly, instantly blushing when their eyes meet, but unable to look away from the clear shade of blue. He bows respectfully, so the princess gets a good look at the mop of reddish-brown curls fighting against whatever was put in them to keep the hair tame. It takes her a moment to realize that she isn't just looking at a boy, she's looking at her future husband. She's looking at the child who was offered the hand of the princess when he was one year old and she was just days old. She's looking at the person with whom she will unite House Baratheon and House Stark as her father tried to do so many years earlier.

She isn't just looking at a boy, she is looking at her future.

"It's nice to meet you, my princess," Robb says nervously, taking her hand and giving it the lightest kiss. Their cheeks turn a similar shade of pink while Ellie tries to swallow the lump in her throat.

"And you, my lord," she tells him with a shy smile.

Ellie wonders if this is how it felt when her mother met her father for the first time. Did he act polite and proper like Robb Stark or was he always as crass as he is now? Did butterflies flutter in her stomach at the mere sight of him as the princess feels now looking into the blue eyes of her intended?

A part of her hopes that their meeting was nothing like this because their marriage is a sham. She hopes to every god in existence that her and Robb Stark's marriage won't be anything like that.

She hopes they will fall in love the way they do in all the stories. Right before they get their happy ending.

* * *

This is just kind of an introduction to the OC and how she fits into the story. I'll be posting the second and third chapter (and maybe even the fourth) sometime today!

Please let me know what you think so far!

Thank you so much!

\- V :)


	2. Chapter 2

Ellie is introduced to the entire Stark family, shown her chambers as well as a few important places in the castle, and completely overwhelmed by the new life being forced upon her. She did want this, she looked forward to leaving the Red Keep behind when she came of age, but now she's terrified and on the verge of suffocating. So, it's no surprise that she manages to slip out of sight of her guards and all the others who won't allow her a moment of freedom.

She likes the Starks and she thinks that a future surrounded by them shouldn't be too hard, but she still feels caged. The princess sets out to find a good hiding place in her new home to go with the thousands she has in King's Landing, but the grounds of Winterfell are so unfamiliar, she doesn't know where to start. The first familiar place she stumbles across is the stables, so she settles for wandering inside to check on her horse.

Rain, Ellie's white horse, has already been given a stall and she goes to pet the animal, but catches movement farther down and stops. There's a boy petting the snout of a different horse, unaware that the princess is there. She examines him in the short distance, seeing his dark curls tickling his cheeks and his eyes of a similar color. He can't be much older than her, but he looks so serious with his pout and big, sad eyes. He's dressed far too nice to be a stable boy, but she hasn't seen him at all today. She thought she met all the highborns in Winterfell.

Ellie continues to study him in silence until he realizes she is watching. He looks up suddenly and jumps slightly in shock. His eyes widen so much that the princess thinks they might fall right out of his head.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you," she tells him, moving until they stand right in front of each other.

The boy does not respond, instead he continues to stare with his mouth agape. For a moment, Ellie considers that possibility that he may not be able to speak. Ser Illyn doesn't speak, but the Mad King cut his tongue out and she can see his lying unmoving in his mouth. She read once about people who are born mute, though. _Perhaps, he's one,_ she considers.

"Is this your horse?" Ellie asks as her fingers reach out to brush the mane of the brown filly. Still, he does not speak. "Do you talk?"

"Y-you're – yes, Your Grace," he stutters, briefly surprising the girl. He drops to a sudden bow and Ellie releases a tired sigh.

"You don't have to do that, there's no one around," she says. The boy straightens, glancing around as he realizes they are completely alone.

"I'm sorry, Princess. I wasn't expecting you…Where are your guards?" he questions as his eyes dart about nervously.

"Looking for me, probably," Ellie says.

His brows furrow in confusion. "Shouldn't you be inside? With the others?"

"Yes," the girl answers simply. "What is your name?"

"Jon Snow, Your Grace."

"Snow? Isn't that the bastard name of the North?" The princess asks, but she quickly tries to backpedal in embarrassment when she sees how the boy's expression hardens at her words. "Sorry, I didn't mean to offend you. I just – I know it's Waters in King's Landing."

"You didn't offend me," Jon Snow tells her, though his tone says differently.

"You're not a very good liar," she scoffs. "Who is your father?"

"Lord Stark, Your Grace," he mutters.

"Your…Lord Stark's?" Ellie blinks in surprise. "Do you live in the castle then?"

"Yes, Your Grace."

"Oh, stop calling me that! Call me Ellie," she tells him. "If you live in the castle, then we shall live together! Oh, we'll have lessons together and meals…"

The princess smiles brightly at Jon, but he does not return the gesture.

"We're to be family, you must call me Ellie."

"I don't think I can, Princess."

"Why not?" she demands with a grin still planted on her face.

"I'm just a bastard," he mutters, looking away.

"So?" The girl questions. Jon's eyes snap back to hers, wide and confused. "You're just Jon and I am just Ellie."

Jon Snow still does not smile, but, for whatever reason, Ellie's refuses to wane.

…

There is a feast that night to celebrate Princess Eliana's arrival. Robb Stark waits at the entrance of the dining hall to escort her inside where the others are already waiting. She comes to a stop in front of him and offers a nervous smile. Silently, he bows to her in respect, but she frowns in response.

"Good evening, my princess," he greets in a trembling voice.

"My lord," she returns with a curtsy.

"You – you look beautiful," Robb compliments with red cheeks.

Ellie's skin reacts the same and she ducks her head to hide it. "Thank you."

"Shall we go inside?" he asks quickly before the air gets too awkward.

The princess nods and hooks her arm with his before they glide through the doors. Everyone stands and bows as they pass while Robb leads her to the high table. She notices Lord Arryn, Lord and Lady Stark, and one of Robb's younger sisters, but she's momentarily disappointed that Jon Snow isn't there. It's no surprise, he's a bastard and he wasn't even introduced to her, so there's no reason to expect him. However, with their brief conversation in the stables still playing through her mind, she inappropriately cranes her neck around until she locates the dark-haired boy.

Their eyes connect as she passes his table with Robb and she sends him a kind smile. He immediately responds by bowing his head, but that bothers her.

Their conversation in the stables ended quickly because Lord Arryn found her. Ellie was disappointed and spent the rest of the day trying and failing to get away to find Jon Snow again. She can't explain it, but there is something about him that she just enjoys. She felt comfortable with him instantly and the depth in his dark eyes begs for her to dive in and learn more about him.

She just wishes that he would be comfortable with her too.

"Your Grace," Lord Stark says with a bow as she arrives at the table.

Robb releases her arm before pulling out her chair. Once she is seated, the rest of the dining hall sits as well and her intended takes the place beside her. Ellie glances at him from the corner of her eye and wonders if she'll feel the same comfort with him. Maybe if no one was around and she could just be Ellie while he was just Robb it would work. However, that thought quickly fades as she looks out at the dining hall and spots Jon once more. The warmth she feels when his ears turn pink from being caught staring is much different than anything she's ever experienced.

 _It must be him_ , the princess concludes.

"I heard you enjoy riding, Princess," Lord Stark calls her attention, forcing her to look away from his bastard.

"Yes, my lord. Though, I do not get to go very often."

"Well, riding in the North is much different. There is more space to roam up here," he explains. "Would you like to go tomorrow?"

"Go riding?" Ellie's eyes widen in shock. "You'll let me?"

"Of course, Princess."

The young girl looks to Lord Arryn to see if this is just a joke, but the older man's smile assures her that it's not. She catches Robb's eye to find him watching her curiously, but she is too surprised to be embarrassed.

"I'd love to!"

"Wonderful," Lord Stark says.

Ellie can't believe it and she spends the rest of the night shaking with excitement. She was certain that she would be forced to continue as the proper princess her mother loved and her father hated. She thought her days would be spent inside by the fire, sewing dresses, and singing songs. This small gift renews her hope of a different life, the one she had given up a year ago. If there is more space to roam, then perhaps there is more freedom to be had.

Even for a princess.

…

Rain trots alongside Robb's horse while Ellie looks around in wonder. The princess would be lying if she said she wasn't frozen solid, but the surrounding woods outside the walls of Winterfell are too beautiful for it to matter. She is truly bewildered by how clean the air is as well. She sucks in breath after breath, smelling the mossy trees and the damp dirt. The wind sends strands of her black hair flying out of the braid it is twisted in and the chill seeps through her cloak, but she loves it. Her skin aches from the cold, her eyes burn from the wind, yet her smile is brighter than the southern sun.

"Are you having fun, Princess?" Robb asks her as he takes in her happy form.

"Yes, this is nothing like riding in King's Landing," she says. Ellie glances over to meet his warm gaze. "Are you?"

"Yes," he answers simply. Silence falls over them once more, the air turning awkward.

Ellie is unsure how to form a relationship with the boy she's meant to marry. Things are so formal and uncomfortable between them. She begins to suspect that Robb has no interest in being promised to her, but is trying his best to be polite. The thought makes her think of her parents and she grimaces at the image of them standing next to each other like strangers. Cersei's stony-faced expression and Robert's blatant disrespect for his wife is evidence enough that they never wanted to be together. It's everything Ellie doesn't want her marriage with Robb to be.

But she's only ten. How can she create a lasting relationship when they are just children?

As Ellie considers an array of options, she spots something of interest further in the forest. She pulls Rain to a stop and slides off the horse with ease.

"Your Grace, what are you doing?" Robb questions as the others come to a stop around her.

Without answering, she dashes into the thick tree line, ignoring the calls of the others. Her boots sink into the ground as she treks through the woods until she comes to a stop in front of what caught her attention. Beautiful wildflowers stretch towards the sun surrounded by dewy grass. The white and blue plants are different than the range of colors she's used to seeing, but she can't help thinking they are prettier. They must be strong to survive the northern weather because the ones in the south would wilt in minutes at these temperatures.

Ellie kneels in the dirt, forgetting about the nice dress she's wearing, and reaches out to gently stroke the blue petals.

"Wildflowers, Princess?" Lord Arryn's voices comes from behind her.

The young girl looks back to respond to her Uncle Jon, but the person closest to her is actually Jon Snow. He watches her with a guarded expression, but she can see the curiosity in his eyes.

"Aren't they wonderful?" Ellie replies to the older Jon while keeping her gaze on the younger one.

"They are," Jon Snow agrees quietly. The princess probably wouldn't even have heard had she not seen his lips move.

Ellie beams in response and she can barely make out the corners of his mouth twitching.

…

"Must you go so soon, Uncle Jon?" Ellie questions as the older man checks the straps of his horse. The company that brought the princess to Winterfell is ready to return home, waiting only for the Hand of the King to take their leave.

"I must, my princess. I need to return to your father and the council," he tells her. "I also need to return to my wife and son."

"But I don't want you to go yet," she says. "I'm not ready."

Lord Arryn kneels in front of the girl so they are on the same level and gives her a gentle smile. "I have already seen a difference in you, Princess. You seem so much happier here in the North. It's as if you can breathe for the first time."

"I like it here," Ellie admits. "I'm just afraid that I will never see you again."

"Of course you will," he assures. "The next time we meet, sweet child, will be for your wedding."

Ellie scowls for a moment, not appreciating the reminder that marriage is in the near future. However, Uncle Jon's soft expression melts away her sadness and frustration.

"Do you promise?"

"I do," he vows. "You will see everyone again. And until then, you will learn to call Winterfell your home."

…

Later that night, Ellie retires from dinner early as an excuse to go exploring. She can sense that there is more freedom to be had in Winterfell, but the lack of hiding places she is aware of makes her uncomfortable. She needs places to escape and it will take a lot of work gathering a good amount of locations. It basically took ten years to find every secret nook and cranny in the Red Keep.

As she wanders around the castle grounds, the princess comes across a broken tower. Without hesitating, she heads inside and climbs the high stairs of the dilapidated stone. The cold air is sharper in the night as it bites her cheeks. She pulls the cloak impossibly tighter for warmth but continues to the top unfazed. At the top of the crumbling tower, she spots a window that looks over most of Winterfell. However, she is distracted from the beauty by the head of dark hair looking out of it.

"Hello, Jon," Ellie greets softly, surprising him again.

He fumbles to his feet as he sees her and quickly bows. "Princess," he mutters.

"It's Ellie," the girl reminds him. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing, I'm just…" he trails off with a glance out the window.

"Hiding?" The princess finishes. "What are you hiding from?"

"I'm not hiding," he argues stubbornly. "What are _you_ doing?"

"Hiding," she says with a grin. "Well, I'm looking for places to hide. I had tons in the Red Keep. The best ones you could imagine. None of the guards my mother sent could ever find me."

"Why do you hide?"

"Why do you?"

Jon looks away in discomfort. Ellie walks towards him and stops in front of the window to look at the grounds and people below. Winterfell is so different than the Capitol. It's busy as all castles are, but there is no chaos. When she breathes in the icy air, she doesn't feel as if she'll toss her last meal from the smell. The people do not fight each other or yell in anger. They always say the Northerners are out of control, that their old ways make them savage compared to others, but this place is far more civilized than any other place Ellie has ever seen.

"There isn't anything I want to hide from right now, but I'm sure I'll need a good place to go soon," the princess tells him. "Perhaps we could share this place?"

"If you like," he says with a shrug.

Ellie smiles as she sinks to the dirty floor with her back pressed against the wall before looking up at Jon expectantly, waiting for him to join. He seems torn, to sit with the princess like this is improper and to ignore her is the same. His inner torment only amuses Ellie, but she is relieved when he finally chooses to sit next to her.

"I hated it in the Red Keep," she admits quietly. "I hate the rules and expectations. I always feel like everything my mother does is to torment me. As long as she has a say, I must be perfect, look pretty and sing pretty words. If I so much as I stepped the wrong way at home, I was in trouble."

"So, you'd hide," Jon says.

"Yes, it was the only way to breathe. And I'd find a good place to watch and listen as all the guards ran about in search of me. Some days, I would have to bite my tongue to keep from laughing," Ellie explains before her tone darkens. "But most of the time I just prayed that they wouldn't so I could have a break."

Taking comfort from her honesty, Jon finally decides to share. "No one will call me bastard when I'm up here," he mutters. "That's one of the reasons I like to hide."

"There are other reasons?" Ellie presses.

"All of them are because of what I am," he answers vaguely.

Ellie knows she won't get anything else from him tonight, but she's nearly giddy that she got as much from him at all. The sense of comfort she feels from sitting beside him is so foreign, yet she already craves more. It's a testament to her childhood that she feels so desperate for the warmth she receives in the presence of the strange boy.

"Shall we make an agreement, then?" The princess suggests.

"An agreement?"

"If we ever need to hide from things, we'll meet here. I won't be a princess and you won't be a bastard. Not as long as we're together at the top of the broken tower."

Jon stares at her for a long time like Ellie is the strangest person he has ever met. For a moment, she thinks he won't agree. Sadness falls over her as she considers the idea that the friendship she thinks they could have is not the one he wants, but then he nods hesitantly and smiles for the first time since she arrived. It's small, only half of his mouth quirks up, but it's enough to make the tower feel a little warmer and bring a smile of her own to her lips.

Friendship, true friendship, is something that Eliana has never known, and she thinks that this may be the very beginning of one.

* * *

What do you think so far?

Chapter 3 should be up in a little while! Also, I made this story rated M for later chapters.

Please review! I'd love to hear what you think.

Thank you for reading,

\- V :)


	3. Chapter 3

One Year Later

The small company comes to a halt inside the courtyard of Castle Cerwyn. A man grabs hold of Eliana's horse while another places a stool to help her descent. She doesn't mind sliding off the saddle, but it's not entirely ladylike. Robb joins her with his father in front of them as they're approached by a bearded man.

"My lords, my princess," he greets with a bow. "Thank you for coming."

"Ser Helman, thank you for the invitation," Lord Stark returns. "This is my son, Robb, and Her Grace, the Princess Eliana."

"It's an honor," Lord Cerwyn bows again and the two children return the gesture.

There are many people gathered around the castle for the wedding of Lord Cerwyn's son. Lord and Lady Stark were supposed to attend the event, but baby Rickon caught a fever. Maester Luwin assured everyone that he made it through the dangerous time and was already recovering, but Lady Cat refused to leave him. Instead, Lord Stark decided to bring Robb and Ellie as they are the future of House Stark and Winterfell. During the trip, he lectured the two children on the importance of supporting your bannermen.

"If you expect loyalty from them, you must be loyal in return," he said.

In the past year, Eliana has learned that Northerners are intensely loyal to House Stark and House Stark returns the gesture. People love Eddard Stark in a way that is unfamiliar. No one is dedicated to her parents the way they are dedicated to Robb's. The eleven-year-old realizes that this poses a serious problem. If something were to happen, would House Baratheon stand with support of the people or will it crumble because the people support another?

…

"Are you praying, Your Grace?" Robb's voice interrupts the silence of the godswood.

Ellie turns away from the heart tree to see her intended standing with a nervous expression. He smiles kindly, so the princess politely returns the gesture.

"No, I was just thinking," she tells him. "They shouldn't have cut down all the heart trees in the south. Whether anyone prayed to them or not, they were part of history."

"You spend a lot of time in the godswood at home, don't you, Princess?"

Ellie arches a brow in surprise and his ears redden. "I do…How did you know?"

"I've – I've seen you go there," he mutters, desperately trying to hide his embarrassment.

"It's peaceful and beautiful," she says, offering him a chance to ease his nerves. "It feels like it's not really part of a castle."

"Do you not like castles, Your Grace?"

"I like them," Ellie murmurs with a frown. "Robb?"

"Yes, Princess?"

"It's been a year since I came to Winterfell," she reminds him. "Are you ever going to call me by my name?"

The young lord's eyes widen in surprise, but he doesn't seem able to reply.

"It's just, I don't want to spend the rest of my life and our marriage answering 'Princess' or 'Your Grace.'" Ellie explains. "I know it's the proper thing to do, but it makes me feel like we're just strangers and I don't want a marriage like that."

Robb's cheeks turn pink, darkening each time she says "marriage." He looks away from her deep blue eyes peering at him, clearly torn by her request, and the princess only sighs. She doesn't give it much thought when she grabs his hand to force him to look at her.

"Please, Robb," she requests softly.

"O-okay," he stutters as he stares at their joined hands. "I'll call you Ellie."

…

After they return from Castle Cerwyn and eat dinner with the family, Ellie bounds up the steps of the broken tower as quickly as she can, careful to protect the surprise she has wrapped in cloth. Jon is already there waiting like usual. It has become a part of their routine to meet nearly every night after supper. It saddens the princess that he is never allowed at the high table. The distance between them as they eat serves as a reminder that titles are only forgotten in their safe space. Everywhere else, she is royalty and he is illegitimate.

"Sorry it took so long," Ellie chimes to let him know she's there. "Look what I've got for us, though."

Ellie reveals the extra cakes she stole from the kitchen while the maids were busy gossiping and Jon grins at the sight. It was a relatively long road to break through Jon Snow's walls of protection, but now that she has, the pair are genuinely best friends. He never really smiles and when he does, it's usually for one of his siblings. However, his smile is nearly as common as Ellie's when they are together. It makes her feel special in a way that no one else can, as if Jon's smile actually belongs to her.

The two of them sit down on the dusty floor and dig into their sweet desserts. A comfortable silence consumes them, the kind that erases all cares. She wasn't gone for very long, but she missed their time together more than anything.

"How was the wedding?" Jon asks suddenly.

Ellie is surprised by his curiosity, but answers anyway. "It was nice. I'd never been to a northern wedding."

"Will you have one or will you do it in the Sept?"

That question shocks her even more. It was almost as if they've had a silent agreement in the past year to never speak of her future marriage. Yet, Jon has decided to break it.

"I'm – I'm not sure," Ellie admits uncomfortably. She doesn't want to talk about her arranged marriage, not in their safe space. "I don't think it's really my choice."

"It's your wedding," he says.

"That doesn't mean anything, Jon."

"Well, what would you want?"

The princess feels her face contort in confusion. She never gave it much thought because she never believed anyone would ask her the question. She imagines her mother would want it inside, so the Sept would be the only option. Her father wouldn't care in the slightest. Lord and Lady Stark were married in a sept, but they weren't married in the north. All northerners are married in the godswood in front of the heart tree, but she isn't a northerner.

 _What would Robb want?_ She wonders silently.

"I suppose I would like my wedding to be in the godswood," she answers quietly. "Seems truer to the North. Maybe the people will have an easier time accepting me as their lady if I abide by the traditions."

"I don't think anyone will have an issue accepting you, Ellie."

"No, you're wrong," she argues softly. "You're the only one who accepts me."

…

Ellie lost interest in her lessons and Septa Mordane didn't pressure her to continue today. So, now she watches as the boys train in the yard. Ser Rodrik is helping them with archery today and the princess enjoys seeing them compete with one another. Theon is unquestionably the best, but the Iron Islanders are known for the skill. Knowing this does not deter Robb or Jon, it only makes the competition more entertaining. The princess cheers for each one, though she is unintentionally more enthusiastic when it comes to Jon.

"Better not choke," Theon jokes as Robb takes his next turn. "Your future wife is watching."

"Shut up," Robb snaps, but his hand seems to tremble slightly as he grabs the next arrow.

"She might run off with a better man," the boy continues to tease, shooting Ellie an amused grin.

Robb's expression hardens when he notices how Theon is looking at his intended and he turns back to the target with a newfound determination. He draws the arrow back and with a swift exhale, releases the bow string. The arrow flies through the air and connects with the red center of the target as a victorious _thunk_ echoes in the training ground.

"Yay, Robb!" Ellie cheers, clapping her hands happily.

"Guess I'm the better man," the young lord quips to his friend, barely loud enough for the girl in question to hear.

Ser Rodrik laughs at the whole thing as does Theon, and after a moment, Robb joins. However, the other two miss the joke. Ellie's stomach does a summersault and she can't help but glance at Jon. His expression is impassive, revealing nothing to the others, but she can see it in his eyes. His half-brother's obvious claim over the princess seems to make him feel as strange as it does for her. It shouldn't bother either of them because the truth of the matter is that she belongs to Robb Stark and has since birth, but the reminder is almost painful.

"Your Grace," Ser Rodrik calls, tearing the young girl's attention away from the bastard. "Would you like to try?"

"What?" she replies in shock.

"Give it a shot. It's much easier in daylight, Princess," the white-bearded man says with a wink.

Ellie's eyes fly back to Jon who looks equally startled. Just the other night, the two of them had been in this same yard so Jon could teach her how to shoot an arrow. She can't think of a situation where it is appropriate for any girl to be sneaking around with any boy in the middle of the night, especially not when that girl is a princess and that boy is the brother of her intended. If Cersei were to hear of this, Eliana cannot even imagine the consequences.

Yet, Ser Rodrik doesn't seem disappointed, appalled, or even remotely surprised.

"Move over lads," he orders. "Let our princess give it a try."

A bit uncertain, nothing like she had been with Jon, Ellie moves from her place on the sidelines and Robb hands her his bow.

"Hold it like this, Ellie," he gestures, not knowing that his brother already gave her a lesson.

Theon hands her an arrow that she automatically nocks without needing to be taught. The boys seem surprised, but no one comments. Her arms quiver for some reason as she aims at the target. She takes several deep breaths to expel her nerves, but they remain bubbled at the top of her chest. Suddenly, she lowers the bow, frowning in frustration.

She had done well with Jon and only missed the target a few times. She didn't feel embarrassed or nervous, just excited to spend time with him and learn something new. Now, she should be even more excited because she'll surprise Robb and Theon with her newfound skill that they definitely can't imagine her having. So, why hasn't she shot it yet?

Jon takes a few steps forward to stand closer than the others. Ellie looks at him in question, but his look is the gentle one that only she knows so well.

"Inhale as you draw and exhale as you release, Your Grace."

Ellie nods and tries again. This time, her arms don't shake as she takes her aim or as she draws back on the bow string. With a deep inhale and a soothing exhale, she releases the arrow and watches it catapult towards the center of the target. When everyone sees that her arrow is far closer to a perfect shot than any of the boys' arrows, their jaws drop in shock. Everyone aside from Jon.

The princess turns a beaming smile to her teacher and he grins back with pride.

Her heart suddenly stutters in her chest while feathers tickle the inside of her belly. Ellie realizes that this silent exchange of joy between herself and Jon is something she never wants to end. She wants to spend the rest of her life smiling at him and earning his beautiful smile in return.

"Well done, Princess!" Ser Rodrik booms, unfortunately ending their special moment.

…

Ellie helps the boys clean up the training yard when they are finally done practicing. She's sliding arrows back into the small barrel when Robb appears in front of her.

"You did really well today," he compliments with his usual kind smile.

"Thank you, so did you," she returns. "It was fun. Mother would never let me do something like this if I was in King's Landing."

"Well, you'll always be able to do it here," Robb promises. "I'll make sure of it."

"Thank you, Robb," she murmurs with a warm smile.

"Ellie?"

"Yes?"

"Tomorrow Ser Rodrik is going to let us joust," he says. "Do you think you could come watch?"

The young princess is a bit surprised by his forwardness, but his blue eyes practically beg her to agree. He did seem to do better whenever someone reminded him that she was watching, so she wonders if that's why he wants her there. Either way, she's glad he's inviting her and that he's attempting a normal, not so formal conversation.

"Of course, I would love to."

…

"You're not going to win!" Ellie shouts to Jon who is behind her.

They've agreed to race to the pond by the heart tree for the other's dessert come supper time. Despite her long dress, the princess propels herself past Jon, and giddily goads him as she does. They started at the bottom of the broken tower, so they should be exhausted, but both are laughing the entire way. Ellie's muscles are burning and so are her lungs, yet her smile doesn't wane.

"That's what you think!" Jon calls back.

Jon's voice is closer than Ellie expects, but before she can check to see where he is, two arms wrap around her waist and lift her from the ground.

"Hey!"

She's spun around in Jon's embrace before being deposited back on the ground. Jon takes off running once more, laughing nonstop.

"That's cheating!" she yells.

Jon makes it to the pond first and waits with a triumphant smile as Ellie arrives.

"That's not fair," she grumbles breathlessly, but her blue eyes are alight with joy. The princess collapses to the ground dramatically, unfazed by the cold earth seeping through her cloak. "I'm exhausted."

The boy chuckles as he joins her in the soft grass. "Losing is tiring, I hear."

Ellie shoves his arm which only causes him to emit more laughter. Then, they fall into a peaceful silence and watch the clouds moving overhead.

"Do you ever wonder what it's like in other places?" the young princess questions suddenly.

"What do you mean?"

"Like do you think you can really touch the clouds on the top of the Wall? Or is the sun really brighter in Dorne as they claim? Are the free cities truly free? Or is it all stories?"

"I don't know," Jon answers quietly. "Sometimes I wonder what life would be like if I lived somewhere else."

"Like where?"

"Anywhere, really. The Capitol, the free cities, north of the Wall, Castle Black…"

"Castle Black?" Ellie questions. "You think about life in the Night's Watch?"

"My Uncle Benjen is a brother," he reminds her. "Who you are before doesn't matter there. You give up the past when you take the Black."

"But you'd have to spend the rest of your life there."

"Well, we all have to spend the rest of our lives somewhere, don't we?"

Ellie sits up and gazes at Jon's face with a scowl.

"What?" he questions as he mimics her position.

"What do you mean 'what'?" she demands. "If you go to the Night's Watch, we'll never see each other."

"I didn't say I was going," he tells her, though she catches the way his dark eyes dart away. "I just said I've thought about what it would be like."

"It would be hell," she decides. "You can't go there."

Jon looks away again which makes Ellie's stomach tighten with fear. She grabs hold of his hand and his gaze flies back bewildered.

"What would I do if you weren't here?" Ellie murmurs. "It's a horrible thought."

The boy's eyes tell her that he has a thousand things to say, but his mouth remains closed. Instead, he nods in agreement and squeezes her hand. They return to laying down in the grass with their fingers still laced together.

Ellie's thoughts take a darker turn, however. She begins to consider what the future will really hold. Obviously, she knows that she will marry Robb and give him all the children she can. Sansa and Arya will be married off to lords or knights. Bran and Rickon will grow to be one or the other with a steadfast to rule. Robb's four younger siblings will move away from Winterfell, but probably stay in the north. Their futures are as predictable as Eliana's; it's only Jon's future that seems unknown.

As the bastard of Winterfell, his marriage is not one Lord Stark will really think about. If Lady Stark had her way, he'd have already been banished from their land. To grow up here without a mother and hated by his father's wife is miserable, so Ellie knows it is selfish to believe he will stay when he becomes an adult. Jon's life could be far better outside of these castle walls. Perhaps he could even find the freedom on his own that Ellie craves so much. She wants that for him, she wants all the happiness in the world to belong to her dearest friend.

But she does not want him to leave.

It's a long way off, but fear still settles in Eliana's heart as she holds Jon's hand until supper time.

* * *

Okay, last chapter for the night! I might be able to get the next chapter up tomorrow!

I know this chapter jumps around a bit, but I just wanted to show various moments shared with Jon and Robb. The next chapter will be a little similar, but cover more than just one year.

Hope you're enjoying so far and that you continue to! I'm so excited! I'm already seeing interest and it has made my day.

Please review and let me know what you think!

Thank you so, so much for reading, favoriting, and following! Special thanks to the lovely reviewers!

Hope to hear from you,

\- V :)


	4. Chapter 4

One Year Later (Ellie is 12)

 _My dearest Eliana,_

 _Another one of your namedays has passed with us apart. It makes me sad to not celebrate with you anymore. I hope the Starks celebrate appropriately, but I doubt it could ever be as exciting as it should be in the North. You would be happy to know that your little sister still remembers you well. Myrcella asks about you all the time and is desperate to meet you again. She and the boys have grown so much, I can only imagine you have done the same._

 _How have you been, my love? Do you have everything you need in Winterfell? Are the Starks still treating you well? Are you getting along with that boy?_

 _Happy Nameday, darling. Please write more._

 _Sincerely,_

 _Mother_

Ellie sighs as she reads her mother's script on the parchment. Sometimes two years seems like a long time and sometimes it seems so short. A small part of her misses the nameday celebrations in the Capitol because they were so lively and fun. Yet, another part hated them because of all the people around to watch her every move. The celebrations in Winterfell are far more modest, but she enjoys them whole-heartedly. They make her favorite foods and special desserts, and there is always music during the feast. The Starks even let her have a cup of wine with dinner.

She does seem to miss her parents more on her nameday. Her father always gave her some extravagant gift and waited until much later in the night to get drunk. Her mother was always far kinder than normal. While she was careful to ensure that Joffrey didn't get too jealous, Cersei always gave Ellie more positive attention. The queen spared her the scoldings and corrections, allowing the princess a single day to do whatever she pleased. It was the one day she felt like her mother truly loved her no matter what.

Unfortunately, the next day would come and things would return to normal.

Ellie does not miss that. Here in Winterfell, she does not wake up the day after the celebration disappointed. She wakes up equally as happy as every other day. And things do return to normal, as in the daily meals and lack of music, but normal is something she has grown to love. She loves it so much that she barely misses home.

But letters like these remind her of the good parts, like Myrcella and Tommen. She misses her younger siblings more than she can describe. They were so young when she left, she never imagined that they would remember her. She also believed that Joffrey would tell stories that painted her as an enemy, but then again, he rarely paid them any attention. Reading that her sister actually wants to see her nearly brings tears to Ellie's eyes, but she forces them back. She's unsure when she'll see her family again, but she doesn't want to think about it.

Their reunion will come with her wedding and she is absolutely not ready for that.

…

"Watch your feet," Jon advises, blocking her hit.

Eliana had been sitting alone in the broken tower, lost in thought as she stared out the window. She'd been twisted in knots from her mother's last letter, missing her family more than usual. She's happy in Winterfell and likes the idea of a future here much better than a future there, but sometimes the reminder of how far away she is from her own blood is hard for the twelve-year-old. Lately, she's found herself just wanting to hear her parents' voices, no matter what they were saying.

As usual, the one who easily lifts her spirits is Jon. He arrives to dispel her melancholy with two sparring swords. Since Ser Rodrik didn't offer to teach her earlier today during training, Jon thought he would teach her himself. She happily accepted the offer and soon her sadness was forgotten as they stirred up dust all around the tower floor.

"You're quick," Jon compliments as she dodges his attack.

"Thanks!" Ellie beams.

"Put all your weight in it," he says after she strikes. "Get in a good hit and then get out of reach."

They continue sparring until Ellie's arm gets too tired to hold the sword up anymore. When they're done, they sit beside each other on the stone floor and relax in the chilly air of the tower.

"This is more fun than archery," she tells him. "I'm just not as good at it."

"You'll get better," Jon assures.

"Can we practice again tomorrow?" Ellie turns a hopeful gaze on him and he chuckles.

"Of course."

"Thank you," she murmurs before yawning. "I didn't expect it to be so tiring."

"Do you want to go back –"

"No!" The princess hurries to answer. Jon gives a gentle smile, one that no one else ever sees. "Let's just rest here for a while."

Before Jon can reply, Ellie places her head on his shoulder and closes her eyes. After a moment of him being completely frozen, he leans his head against hers. The princess feels content. She may miss her family, but she's happy in the tower with Jon. Their friendship makes the distance from her family far easier to bear. In fact, their friendship makes the distance completely worth it.

…

One More Year Later (Ellie is thirteen)

"Jon!" Ellie calls breathlessly as she runs after him. She stumbles to a stop when he halts and spins around to look at her. "What happened?"

His eyes are full of hot tears he will never shed. "Nothing," he mutters.

"Tell me," she urges. Jon shakes his head and turns to leave, but Ellie grabs hold of his hand.

"It doesn't matter, Ellie," he sighs, looking at the pleading blue of her eyes.

Despite this, the princess knows what happened anyway. Only one person can bring tears to his eyes with their cruelty and that's Lady Cat. Ellie adores her future mother-by-law, but she despises the way the woman treats her best friend. She's awful to Jon for the simple fact that he's alive and for fourteen years, she's made the boy miserable. Ellie can't imagine what it feels like for Jon.

"It does," she argues.

"It's just not fair," he spits. "I don't get a mother and I get hated by my father's wife. I didn't choose to be a bastard! I didn't choose to be born!"

"You're right," Ellie agrees sadly. "It's not fair."

"If I left right now, _she_ would be so happy. Do you know that? And Father would be relieved."

"That's not true."

"It is, Ellie!" Jon snaps. "Father would be relieved that he didn't have to deal with his wife's anger anymore. He wouldn't come looking for me, he wouldn't hope I'd come home. Everyone would be better for it."

"No, they wouldn't!" Her voice suddenly takes on an urgent edge, panicking at the thought that he may leave.

" _Yes_ , they would. Without the bastard of Winterfell, House Stark would be much happier." Jon's angry voice fades from his emotion. He tries to focus on his hatred for who he is and his envy for who he's not, but at the end of the day, he's more heartbroken than anything else.

More devastated by the love he lacks.

Without thinking, Ellie steps forward and wraps her arms around him, burying her head in his chest. "I wouldn't be," she murmurs.

Jon tenses for a moment, surprised by her embrace and her words, but soon she feels his arms encircle her in return. They stay like that for a long time, just holding onto each other, and the princess feels as though she's trying to keep him in place. Ellie can't deny the warmth that consumes her from Jon's touch and suspects that if she were to lose this feeling permanently with his departure, she wouldn't want to be in Winterfell any longer.

…

Two Years Later (Ellie is fifteen)

Once again Ellie finds herself in an unfamiliar castle to visit a Stark bannerman who has just welcomed another life into the world. The baby is precious and Ellie finds herself quite content rocking the little lady. She was allowed to hold Myrcella, Tommen, and even Rickon under the watchful eyes of adults, but now she is trusted without question. The adults around her are just focused on the baby, not on the risk of the princess holding her. So, Ellie finds even more joy in holding the infant who coos up at her happily.

"You will make a great mother, Your Grace."

Ellie's face flushes as she hands the baby off to the next woman waiting. "Thank you, my lady."

The princess manages to escape and breathes a sigh of relief outside in the cold air. The compliment did a number on her heart as it's still racing. She's no fool, she knows with marriage comes children. She's expected to give Robb Stark as many children as possible and she does want to be a mother. It just scares her to think about such things right now. Unfortunately, the older she gets, the more people enjoy reminding her.

"Ellie?" She looks over to find Robb has joined her and gazes at her face in concern. "Are you okay?"

"Oh, yes," she says, forcing a smile. "Thank you for asking."

"Of course," he returns. "Did you see the baby?"

"I did, I held her," she tells him. "She is very sweet."

"What did they name her again?"

"Emilya."

"That's a nice name."

Ellie nods in agreement and then they fall silent for a moment. She is wracking her brain for a topic to discuss that will take them away from babies and anything like it, but Robb has different ideas.

"Have you thought of names for our future children?"

The princess nearly chokes at the question, her eyes almost popping out of her head and her cheeks turning crimson. She opens her mouth several times to say something, but she's unable to form words.

Robb chuckles, his amusement somehow making his eyes lighter. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you."

"Y-you…. what?" Ellie stutters.

"I just wondered if you ever think about it. I do," he admits quietly.

"You do?" Her surprise grows, but Robb nods in confirmation. "Well, what names do you think about?"

"I've thought we could name one of our daughters after my Aunt Lyanna because if it wasn't for her, we wouldn't be betrothed."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, if she was still alive, then we would be cousins. But I think the only reason your father wanted us together was because of how much he loved my aunt," Robb explains. "You were his first child and probably what cemented the reality that the life he thought he would have was impossible. Matching us was his last connection to Lyanna and I think he did it so quickly because he didn't want anyone to get in the way and take it like Rhaegar Targaryen took his love."

"Y-you…" Ellie repeats, speechless.

"I just think it would be nice," he finishes.

"You're – you're quite insightful, aren't you?" she murmurs.

"What?" Robb returns with a bashful grin.

"I think Lyanna is a perfect name," Ellie tells him. "And I think our daughter will keep your aunt's memory alive."

…

The crack of thunder resonates throughout Winterfell, a warning only moments before the downpour begins. The heavy rain is freezing and bits of hail fall with it, swirling in the harsh wind. Ellie's eyes widen at the sudden change in the weather as she stands in a doorway of the castle. However, it does little to faze her past that. She simply pulls her hood up and tightens the cloak around her body before dashing into the storm.

She has plans to meet Jon in the broken tower and she knows he's already there waiting. Jon probably doesn't expect her to come now. She's sure he doesn't even want her to come because she'll risk catching a fever, but she refuses to worry about that. Aside from the brief glimpse when they returned to Winterfell hours earlier, the princess hasn't seen Jon in over a week. She missed him more than anything and refuses to let a little rain keep them apart any longer.

After only a few steps, Ellie is soaked and frozen solid. The rain has drenched her cloak, leaving the princess to feel like she's wearing something made of stone. The hail is sharp against the skin of her cheeks and the wind nearly blinds her, but she tramples through the puddles and fresh mud as fast as she can. When she finally makes it to the tower, she shivers so hard that her teeth chatter and she can hardly breathe, but she spots Jon in the doorway and launches herself into his arms.

"Ellie! Have you gone mad?" He demands in concern as he holds her close in a hug.

"W-what do y-you mean?" She laughs through her chattering teeth.

Jon pulls away slightly to look at her with amused, disbelieving eyes. "You shouldn't have run through all that. You're going to get sick."

"I missed you! I didn't want to wait!"

His eyes widen more, surprise coloring his cheeks. He pulls her into another embrace, holding her tighter to give her some warmth. "Seven hells, Ellie," he mutters.

The princess pulls away this time with a playful scowl. "Does that mean you didn't miss me?"

"Of course I missed you," he assures. "But if you catch a fever, I won't be able to see you until you get better."

"You could see me, I'll just be in a nightgown," Ellie tells him.

Jon shakes his head, pushing her hood off to reveal her soaked hair. "I'm sure Lady Stark would love me visiting your private chambers."

" _I_ would," she insists. Jon's raised brows make Ellie realize what she said and her cheeks suddenly flame despite the cold. "Y-you know what I meant."

He chuckles and surprises her by running his thumb over her red cheek. He pushes the wet hair sticking to her face behind her ear, making her shiver for a different reason.

"You need to take this off," Jon says, assuming her tremor is from the cold.

Ellie's heart starts to race as he unclasps the stag pin holding her cloak together. He pushes the soaked fabric off her shoulders, exposing the damp sleeves of her dress to the cold air inside the tower. Jon quickly pulls his own cloak off and wraps it tightly around her thin body. He runs his hands up and down her arms to create some warmth as well.

"Is that any better?"

She _is_ getting warmer, but not because of his efforts. It's the simple fact that he's touching her with only a breath of space between them. When Jon finally seems to realize how close they are, he freezes. If she were to just shift closer or if he were to just duck his head, all the space would be gone. That thought brings a hidden desire to the surface for Ellie, one that suddenly seems impossible to resist as her gaze drops to Jon's lips.

It isn't the first time she's thought about kissing Jon, but each time her mind even dares to silently acknowledge it, she forces the desire down as far as possible. She can't do it, she can't even consider it. No matter how much she wants to.

"Yes, thank you," she answers quickly, breaking the sudden thickness in the air. "Shall we go to the top?"

Ellie thinks that she should run back out into the rain and allow the cold water to wash away all improper thoughts and feelings. Perhaps then she'll remember their respective places and who she belongs to already.

…

One Year Later (Ellie is sixteen and when the show begins)

"No, it goes like this, Ellie," Rickon insists. He shows her how the horse should gallop around the wooden figures set up on the ground.

"Oh, okay," the princess agrees easily, following the six-year-old's movement with her borrowed horse. "Is this better?"

"Yes!" The little lordling beams.

The pair continue to play by the fire while Sansa reads silently and Arya struggles with her stitching under Septa Mordane's watchful eye. The boys are away from Winterfell to accompany Lord Stark to the unfortunate execution of a runaway Night's Watchman. To distract Rickon when he went searching for his brothers, Ellie agreed to play as she always does when he asks. As if she is his age, the princess dives into the world of imagination as easily as she did as a child.

"Ellie! Ellie, look!" Bran's excited shouts reach her before the young boy appears in the doorway. "Look what we've got!"

"What is it?" she questions in amusement, but then her eyes zero in on the small bundle of fur in his arms.

"Is that a wolf?" Arya demands, tossing her stitching aside and rushing towards her brother.

"It's a _dire_ wolf," Bran corrects. "We found them in the woods! Their mother was dead, so they had no one to take care of them."

"Them?" Sansa questions. "Are there more?"

"Yes! One for each Stark and for Jon!" Bran passes his sister and moves to the princess who is still on the floor. "Do you want to hold him?"

"Oh –" Before Ellie can answer, the wolf pup is deposited in her arms. It seems slightly confused but easily finds comfort buried in the folds of her dress.

"Isn't he soft?" Bran says with a grin. "Do you like him?"

"I do," Ellie murmurs. "What's his name?"

"I don't know yet, I can't decide."

"Where's mine?" Rickon asks in an envious voice.

"Right here, Rickon." Robb answers his youngest brother from the doorway.

Rickon jumps to his feet and runs to Robb who holds two bundles of fur himself. He carefully hands one to the boy, advising him how to hold it. Jon and Theon enter the room, the former carrying two pups as well. He hands the white and grayish furred wolf to Arya who waits impatiently for the gift. Theon takes the wolf he has over to Sansa who has remained sitting to be proper, but keeps her eyes peeled until she has one as well.

Ellie places the wolf back in Bran's waiting arms as Jon moves to join them on the ground.

"Yours is so small," she tells him as she holds out her fingers for the pup to sniff.

"He's the runt," Jon replies. The wolf decides Ellie is okay and crawls into her lap. "He likes you."

Ellie and Jon share warm smiles, an exchange that Robb catches from his place by the girls. When Lord and Lady Stark arrive in the room, the princess looks up to see her intended watching her with a confused expression. She offers him a smile too which smooths the crease between his brows, but he still can't take his eyes off his future wife and half-brother.

…

"He's too young to understand," Ellie laughs as she watches Jon attempt to train his white direwolf.

"No, you've got to teach them young," he argues as he grabs the pup and brings him back when he wanders away. "We have to show them."

"Show them?"

"Like this," Jon explains. He places his hand on the wolf's lower back and pushes him down as he commands, " _Sit_."

"Oh…" Ellie murmurs before laughing suddenly at the image she originally had of Jon sitting the way the pet should to teach him.

"What are you laughing at?" he demands.

"Nothing," she fibs innocently.

"I'll train him to never come to you," he warns.

"No, you won't! Anyway, he already loves me," she says with a grin. "Come here."

Ellie holds out her hand, beckoning the white pup to come and he does, snuggling up to her hand happily.

"I feel betrayed," Jon grumbles which only makes her laugh more.

"Ellie," Robb's voice interrupts their training session and she looks over curiously to see what her intended wants. "Father wants to speak with us."

The princess suddenly takes a chill, noticing for the first time how cold the ground is where she sits. Robb doesn't appear to know anything, but Ellie can only imagine that it's bad. A thousand terrifying ideas run through her mind as he helps her stand and her heart nearly beats out of her chest. She casts a glance back at Jon, seeking comfort, and he nods in encouragement despite the concern in his eyes.

Fear dries her throat as they nervously walk to the main hall where Lord and Lady Stark are waiting at the high table. A tense silence has filled the room, taking all the air with it so Ellie cannot catch her breath. The young couple sit at the table, taking in the solemn expressions of Eddard and Cat, and the princess must force herself to stay, fighting the urge to run away from whatever impending news she's about to hear.

"Ellie, we are so sorry to tell you, but a raven arrived from King's Landing today," Lady Cat begins, her blue eyes holding nothing but sympathy while Ellie's heart lurches into her throat. "Jon Arryn has died."

"W-what?" the princess murmurs in horror as tears fill her eyes. "How?"

"He took a fever, they say it happened quickly."

"I – I…" Ellie is lost for words as the sadness overwhelms her. She knew her Uncle Jon was older, but she never thought he would die so soon. It's only been six years since she last saw him, he couldn't have grown so much older that he was unable to fight such a simple illness, especially when he lived in the Red Keep and could have the best medical expertise in Westeros.

"There is more news," Lady Cat says softly. "Happier news."

"What is it?" Robb asks, gazing at his intended with worry.

"The king and queen and the rest of the royal party ride for Winterfell," Lord Stark answers. "His Grace has decided it is time for you two to be wed."

The news of both events hits Ellie like a thousand stones and all she can do is sit there with a sinking heart.

…

The announcement is made during dinner and suddenly all of Winterfell is buzzing with the promise of the wedding. Everyone talks excitedly, and Ellie spends the whole night fielding questions, but her stomach is twisted in knots. It takes every ounce of her control to remain polite and proper and to pretend like everything is okay. However, the moment she is out of sight, she takes off in a sprint to her safe place.

She stumbles up the stone steps, scraping her knees and scuffing her dress. She collapses on the dusty floor when she finally makes it to the top while struggling to breathe. Her arms shake as she wraps them around her legs, trying to hold herself together. Ellie is unsure if it's the devastation she feels by the news of Jon Arryn's death or the fear of marriage trying to suffocate her, but her nerves are completely shot. The tears she's been fighting all day finally escape.

Ellie doesn't hear Jon calling for her as he climbs the stairs. She doesn't even realize he's there until she feels his arms wrapped around her shaking form. She leans into his strong embrace and he holds her until she runs out of tears.

* * *

So, we're caught up age-wise. I forgot to mention that I'm tweaking the ages from the show to fit into the story. Ellie is sixteen at the beginning of the show, which makes Joffrey fifteen. I think those are the only two who really change.

Most of this was just some Eliana/Jon bonding, which I hope you enjoyed. And I wanted to throw in a nice moment with Robb.

Please review and let me know what you think! I love hearing from you! I'm so excited seeing the interest so far. All the favorites and follows make my day! Also, if anyone has any questions, I'll be glad to answer them. And if you have any suggestions for future chapters, I would love to hear them and see if I can incorporate it into what I already have planned.

Thank you so much for reading, favoriting, and following. Special thanks to the wonderful reviewers!

Hope to hear from you,

\- V :)

Side Note: To the guest reviewer who I was unable to respond to in a private message, the purpose of this story, as with all stories on this site I assume, is for fun. I love writing and I love Game of Thrones, so this is what I decided to do. I completely understand your disinterest in original characters, but there are tons of other stories that only focus on regular GoT characters. I hope you find one enjoy!


	5. Chapter 5

Ellie bites her nails nervously as she waits with everyone in the courtyard. Her father and the court have entered Winterfell and horses, the clink of armor bouncing, and wheelhouses bumbling over the ground can be heard from where she stands with the Starks. Lady Cat reaches over in a very motherly gesture to pull Ellie's hand from her mouth, squeezing it lightly before turning to search for Arya. The princess lets her arm drop to her sides as her teeth begin to worry her lower lip instead.

She feels a tug on her cloak and looks down to find Rickon staring up at her in concern.

"Are you okay, Ellie?" he asks quietly.

A smile warms her cheeks for the sweet boy, comforted slightly by the innocence in his wide eyes. "Of course, love. I'm just… _excited_ to see my family after so many years."

Rickon nods, but he was only a babe when she first arrived in Winterfell. The lordling doesn't know a time when the princess didn't live in the North. Ellie's quite certain he has forgotten up until now that she isn't an actual part of his family. Most of the time, she would forget as well if people weren't so adamant about calling her by her title. Her mother will have a conniption fit when she finds out how many people the princess allows to simply call her Ellie.

She takes a deep breath to steady herself, shaking off thoughts of things her mother will disapprove of, and reminding herself of the many ways she was taught to act around them. This is her family, no matter how distant she feels from them, so there's no reason to be nervous.

Ellie gathers herself just in time as the beginning of the company starts to fill the area in front of them. First, there's a knight of the Kingsguard, his gold armor and white cloak reminding her of a childhood spent running away from them. His helmet masks his face, but the princess is fairly certain it's her Uncle Jaime. Second, she spots the large frame of a man who can only be the Hound wearing the helm of a scary dog to emphasize his nickname.

Then, she sees her brother. Joffrey eyes Ellie as he rides in on his dark brown horse, looking just as she remembers. He's obviously older as well, but he still appears to be a boy whereas Jon and Robb are closer to men. The prince looks away from her and, judging by the sudden smirk that contorts his thin lips, he finds Sansa.

A wheelhouse comes into view then, clearly decorated for House Lannister, and Ellie knows immediately that her mother, sister, and youngest brother are in it. The nerves she had so desperately tried to squash return full force and a part of her wants to run. She's not as fast as she was as a child, but she is still quick enough to escape before the queen climbs out of her carriage. It would be a fitting tribute to this family reunion and far from surprising to anyone who knows Ellie, but as she glances around for a way out, she catches the look Cat shoots her. Her mind clearly having been read, she huffs quietly and returns her attention to the royal party.

The wheelhouse comes to a halt, but Ellie's eyes are torn away from it as she registers everyone around her sinking to the ground in a bow. Her gaze lands on a heavy man riding a black horse. His scraggly beard and hair are more gray than black these days and his cheeks are chubbier than they once were, but the princess would recognize her father anywhere.

Men go to assist the king as he dismounts from his horse. One takes the reins as another brings wooden steps for him to climb down with ease. Ellie steps forward so she is in front of the Starks and waits for her father to approach. Her heart begins to race again as he moves closer and closer, the serious expression he carries only enhancing her fear. Then, he is standing directly before her for the first time since she was ten years old.

The blue eyes that once matched hers perfectly seem murky now with either age or alcohol. He stares at Ellie with a hardened look as if she's being examined and suddenly she remembers to drop to a curtsy. As she straightens, she gazes back at her father with wide eyes, waiting for his verdict. He squints down at her, taking in every inch of her face, and finally, Eliana cannot take it any longer.

"Hello, Father," she greets with a small smile. After a few more moments of his harsh gaze, the corners of his eyes crinkle as a large grin plants itself on his face.

"There she is!" He exclaims and Ellie's spirit lifts at the familiar sound of his hearty voice. His arms open and instinct has the princess jumping into his embrace like a little girl again. "My wildflower!"

He squeezes her tightly, lifting her off the ground briefly as she giggles like a child. Ellie is relieved that her courtesies can be forgotten as she reunites with her father. He sets her on the ground and places his hands on her shoulders to look the young woman over once again.

"You are as beautiful as ever, Ellie," he says before releasing her.

She watches as he happily greets his old friend, Lady Cat, and then he moves to Robb. The king's easy-going attitude dissipates as he steps closer to Ellie's intended. He stares the young man down, looking at him in a way Ellie does not recognize.

"So, you're the one," he states gruffly. "The one who's going to marry my Ellie."

"Yes, Your Grace," Robb answers with a bow.

"Ah," Robert's grim expression transforms into an amused smile once again. "Good looking man."

They shake hands before the king moves to speak with the others. Ellie's eyes connect with Robb's and she sees his relief. She smiles, realizing how stressed he must have been awaiting her father's approval this past month, but she feels bad. The king disliking her intended hadn't been one of her worries. After all, Robert chose Robb Stark for her. How could he disapprove now?

Sensing the approach of another, the princess turns to find her mother standing in front of her. Cersei looks older, but not by much, and a bit worn from the long journey. Her smile is different than Robert's, as if she is not as pleased to see her daughter. Or perhaps she's just not pleased to be in Winterfell. Ellie finds herself suddenly praying for the latter because it has been six years and she still craves the love from her mother she only rarely felt.

"My sweet girl," she murmurs, pulling Ellie into a surprising hug. Her expression does little to illustrate her feelings towards seeing the princess, but the strength with which she holds on says much more.

"Hello, Mother," Ellie says, returning the embrace. The queen pulls away, their loving moment ending as quickly as it began, and she places her palm against the princess' cheek before moving to the Starks.

Eliana spots her younger brother and sister standing outside of the wheelhouse. In the past six years, she has grown to love Robb's siblings as her own. She and Joffrey were never close and the other two are so much younger, they never had time to develop true relationships before she was sent to Winterfell. It's strange to be with them again and realize that she knows her intended's brothers and sisters far better than she will ever know her own. Yet, there is still a certain joy that fills her at the sight of their two smiling faces and love easily returns after such a long time apart.

Ellie moves to stand in front of the yellow-haired children and offers a warm smile. "You are far too pretty to be my sister and you are far too big to be my baby brother."

Myrcella beams as she immediately wraps her arms around her older sister's waist. "Ellie! I've missed you!"

"And I've missed you," she says in return. "Look at you, Tommen. You'll be fighting in tournaments in no time. Do you remember me?"

"Yes," the youngest prince answers with a shy grin. Ellie pulls him into a warm embrace after releasing Myrcella. "I missed you too."

Ellie's heart feels light for the first time since she heard the news of Jon Aryn's death and her family's travel. She brushes her fingers through Tommen's hair in the same way she does for Bran and Rickon. The adoration she felt for her sister and brother when they were little hasn't faded a bit. She has to hide the sudden onslaught of tears as she begins to grasp that the distance from her family has actually hurt her more than she'd ever admit.

The eldest princess is grateful when her mother, Joffrey, and Uncle Jaime join them. They bring distraction from her achy heart.

Despite her obvious displeasure from being in Winterfell, Cersei's eyes soften somewhat as she watches her oldest daughter interact with her younger children. Eliana notices that her uncle and Joffrey seem to feel the same about this place, but Ser Jaime manages a familiar, self-assured smirk to hide it. Apparently, her brother hasn't mastered the ability to shield his feelings from watchful eyes.

"Ellie, lovely to see you at last," Uncle Jaime tells her, bowing slightly. "I'm off to search for your other uncle."

After a pointed look at his twin, he winks at the princess before taking his leave. Unfortunately, Eliana is then forced to acknowledge her other brother's presence. Joffrey stares at her with his sharp eyes, and after a warning glance from their mother, he gives the fakest smile she's ever seen. His expression is disconcerting and leaves Ellie sincerely uncomfortable. She remembers never enjoying his company, but she does not remember it feeling like this when they were children.

"Joffrey, I've missed you," Ellie lies.

"And I you, sweet sister," he fibs in return.

"Come, Eliana," Cersei interrupts the awkward air between her oldest children. "We have much to discuss."

…

After introductions have been made all around and the royal party has been shown to their guest chambers inside the castle, Ellie finds herself in her mother's room, sipping tea with her at the small table. Myrcella and Tommen are there being tended to by the handmaidens that accompanied them in their travels. She isn't certain where Joffrey went and she assumes her father is with Lord Stark.

"Tell me, Ellie, how have the past six years been?" Cersei questions.

"It's much the same as how I described in my letters, Mother," the princess answers. "It's lovely here and the Starks have welcomed me into their family since the very beginning."

"And?" The queen presses, sensing there is more to be said in Ellie's silence.

"I feel at home here, Mother," she admits quietly. "Like I belong here more than I ever did in King's Landing."

"You belong here because this is where your father chose for you at birth," her mother says, her tone belying her distaste for Ellie's words. "What of the boy, Robb Stark? He treats you well?"

"Yes, very well," she assures.

"Do you love him?"

"I –" Ellie is taken back by the question and her voice wavers under Cersei's scrutiny. "Yes, of course."

"You don't have to lie," the queen says in a much gentler tone. "It's not a right or wrong answer."

"Isn't it, though?" she murmurs. "Shouldn't I love him?"

"We don't choose who we love, Ellie."

There is a much deeper meaning behind Cersei's words, but Ellie's thoughts are suddenly consumed with the image of her best friend. It startles her to be thinking of Jon during this conversation and she forces her mind to be silent.

"I care for him, for Robb," Ellie says firmly. She is unsure if she's trying to convince her mother or herself. "I am sure I will love him once we are married."

Cersei frowns at the idea before sighing. "You have always been naïve, my love."

"What?" The princess peers at her mother in a mixture of confusion and offense.

"All you are expected to do is marry Robb Stark and give him children," the queen mutters. "Your duty is not to love him."

"Don't you want me to love him?" Ellie asks.

"Ellie, I want to bring you home. I don't want you to get married," she explains. "Your father doesn't even truly want you to be married now."

"But it was Father who made the decision. Why would he choose now if he didn't want it to happen?" Eliana demands.

"He was just using that as an excuse to come here. He wants Ned Stark to be the next Hand and he wants there to be no reason for him to deny the job."

"Father wants Lord Stark to go to King's Landing…"

Anger suddenly wells within Ellie as she realizes that she is just a pawn in her father's game. She supposes that all high-born children are meant to be rungs to climb the ladder to power, but the king doesn't need to climb it. She always believed the same as Robb, their betrothal was a means to make up for the love he lost. Now, Robert doesn't even care about that. He has come to turn Ellie's life completely upside down just to get his closest friend to do a job.

"I don't understand," Ellie nearly whispers as frustration causes her voice to crack. "No one can deny the king a request. Why did he have to use my marriage for something he could have just commanded Lord Stark to do?"

Ellie thinks of all the stress she has been under during the last month from her family's arrival and her impending wedding. She tosses and turns all night, she barely eats, and she spends nearly every waking moment worrying about her future. Now, she finds out that it wasn't her future that the king was considering, it was his.

…

"Father, surely it's a waste of an alliance," Ellie tries to reason. "Our houses are already aligned and there are many other strong houses who will offer their daughters to Joffrey."

After simmering in her frustration with her father, the king joins his family in the guest chambers. She quickly learns what he's been doing since their arrival in Winterfell.

When she first hears of his plans to marry Joffrey to Sansa, Ellie is further irritated that Robert can't even focus on using one of his children. He has to use another which only forces her to see how insignificant her life truly is to His Grace. However, that idea only flits through her mind as the news sinks into her bones. With it comes a sudden fear for the young girl she loves as a sister.

Sansa cannot marry Joffrey. He will destroy her goodness without a second thought.

"Many houses offer their daughters to move themselves up in the world. Power plays and what not," Robert says dismissively. "The Starks do not."

"Because they already have a princess, they don't need a prince!" Ellie argues. "Father, please."

"Ellie," the king sighs as if his eldest daughter is exhausting him. "I will not debate these matters with you. I've named Ned the Hand of the King. Should he accept, his daughter will marry Joffrey and you will still marry Robb."

"Joffrey doesn't need to wed soon," Cersei says as if to comfort Ellie. "And the Stark girl is still too young."

"That's not the point," Eliana tells her sharply.

"Ah," her father shakes his head. "Who bloody cares?"

"Father," Ellie attempts to make one more plea, but Robert leaves the guest chambers without another glance at his daughter.

"Ellie, there are more important things to worry about," Cersei tells her. "Your wedding is the one we are planning, not your brother's anyway. Shall we get ready? The feast begins at sundown."

"Yes, Mother," the princess mutters as she stares at the door her father has just slammed.

It's apparent that the king will not be swayed on these matters, but Ellie's fear only intensifies. She forgets her own wedding and can think only of the hell Sansa will endure should she marry Joffrey. A chill runs down the princess' spine and a sense of foreboding falls over her like a dark cloud. Something is coming and she knows it isn't good.

Not for the first time since Lord and Lady Stark told her the news Ellie wishes her family stayed in King's Landing. Only now it feels like a life is at stake, though she is unsure whose is at risk.

…

The feast roars inside the dining hall. The air is thick and hot, it weighs heavy in Ellie's lungs. The smell of men, meat, and smoke wafts around while her ears strain to hear Cersei and Lady Cat's brief conversation. Sitting at the high table with them, she can see everything. Robb is talking with Theon and some others, Sansa is giggling with her friend Jane, Arya looks like she's about to do something that will get her into trouble. There's Lord Stark who looks so terribly uncomfortable and out of place that it's almost funny. Then, she spots King Robert sitting on a table, drinking, and going on with some woman with breasts hanging out of her dress.

Unable, or maybe just unwilling, to deal with everything going on, Ellie takes comfort in the endless pitchers of wine. Generally, the Starks don't allow the children to drink more than one cup during special occasions, but no one is going to stop the princess tonight. As she tears her eyes away from her father's promiscuous ways and sees her mother watching him with an unreadable expression, she drains another goblet of the bitter drink.

She refills her own cup, scouring the hall in search for Jon. Ellie knows he isn't here, he wasn't invited because of Lady Cat. His presence, an insult in Lady Stark's eyes, would make everything more bearable for the princess. She might even have fun if he was here, but no such luck tonight, so she gulps the wine down without thought.

Completely opposite from what she's feeling, Robb seems to be having a great time as he laughs with his friends. Not for the first time, she notices how handsome he is, and it's only confirmed when she glances over at a table of girls gazing adoringly at him. His auburn curls are tame tonight, recently cut for the royal party's arrival, and he's clean shaven. She wonders if that is how he'll look on their wedding night.

Ellie knows that he's practically the best match in the seven kingdoms. That's what everyone else thinks. He's good, strong, kind. He's truly wonderful and should be so easy to love.

So, why doesn't she?

The princess reaches for the pitcher again, but Cersei's hand beats her to it.

"I think you've had enough wine, Eliana," she hisses so only the princess will hear.

Ellie glowers at her mother, obviously forgetting herself in her intoxicated state. If she can't drink, then she has no interest staying in this chaotic place. However, when she stands and sends her chair flying back with a loud scrape, the alcohol hits her. Her limbs feel heavy, but her body feels light. She sways into the table as the candle lights quiver in the chandeliers above her head. Everything takes on a glow and all the noise seems to fade like it would in the distance.

"Where are you going?" Cersei demands.

"To get some air," the princess mutters.

Without waiting to be dismissed, Ellie abandons her place at the high table and seemingly floats out of the dining hall. She isn't as graceful as she thinks and ends up sloppily colliding with someone's chest. Hands go to her arms to steady her as she looks up with wide eyes, but she's too drunk to feel embarrassed.

"Princess," the man bows as he releases her.

"Lord Benjen, I'm s-so sorry," she slurs with a wobbly curtsy.

"It's quite all right, Your Grace," he says with a kind smile, eyeing her carefully. "Please, call me Benjen or Uncle Benjen if you like."

"Only i-if you call me Ellie," she returns with a bright grin.

"Have you had a bit to drink?" he asks.

"Hmm? N-no," she lies. "Just a cup or two."

"Right," he shakes his head in a mixture of amusement and concern. "You wouldn't be looking for Jon, would you?"

Ellie tilts her head but doesn't respond. _How did he know?_

"Perhaps, you could talk some sense into him," Benjen suggests before bowing again and entering the dining hall.

"What?" she questions the empty space he left.

Too dizzy to give it any more thought, Ellie goes around the corner and meets her own uncle.

"My dearest niece," the sound of her favorite uncle's voice fills the night, yet still sounds muffled to her drunk ears.

"Uncle Tyrion," she says with a lazy grin. "I-I've missed you, where have you been?"

"I was enjoying the better parts of the North," he tells her with an impish smile. "Forgive me, I have missed you as well."

"Ah," Ellie gives an awkward giggle that masks her hiccup.

"Should I assume the wine is another of the better parts?" Tyrion asks with an arched brow.

"Hmm, yes. A very better p-part."

"And where are you headed, Ellie?"

The princess shrugs, but glances above his head to see Jon watching the interaction. Tyrion follows her gaze and nods in understanding.

"I'm not surprised you befriended the bastard of Winterfell," Tyrion muses.

"His name is Jon," Ellie instinctually defends.

"It is, isn't it?" Her little uncle chuckles to himself and her mind is too foggy to understand the joke. "Well, enjoy your night. I'm off to try some of that wine you seem so fond of, dear Ellie."

She watches him leave before turning back to Jon. He's watching from the short distance as she stumbles towards him. She sees his sword and all the damage he inflicted on the training sack. Ellie knows just from the tension still coiled in his shoulders that he is genuinely angry over not being allowed to attend. She suspects, however, that there's a different reason for his fists shaking with fury. And as she stops in front of him, she finds that no amount of wine can inhibit her ability to read his deep eyes.

"Did my uncle say something to you?"

"He gave some unwanted advice," Jon says, eyeing the princess carefully. "It's fine, though."

Ellie nods, swaying from her heavy, foggy head. "The feast is dreadful without you."

"Are you sure? You seem to have had a lot to drink," he points out, a smile pulling at the corner of his mouth. "You're swaying."

"No, I'm n-not," Ellie argues. Jon replies with a raised brow as his palms come to rest on her shoulders, stilling her movement. It's an innocent gesture, but warmth immediately spreads through her from his touch and she finds herself stepping forward just to be closer to him.

Unfortunately, she loses her balance with the simple movement and stumbles into his chest. Jon's arms wrap around her to keep her steady. Ellie returns the gesture, making it a hug.

"Maybe a little," she concedes. "But it's horrible in there. There was nothing else to do other than drink."

The knots that twist Jon seem to untangle in her embrace. Ellie nestles against his chest while he holds all her weight. She's content like this and refuses to move away even as the hug goes on too long.

"Ellie?" Jon murmurs as he feels her hold on him tighten. "Are you okay?"

"Hmm," she hums.

"Someone might come out," he mutters, trying to pull away.

"I don't care," she whispers, refusing to move. "I – I just want you to hold me for a bit."

"O-okay," Jon hesitantly agrees, but his arms tighten like hers.

* * *

Hello!

I'm so sorry for the delay! It was finished and then I decided I wanted to rewrite parts of it because I didn't like how they sounded. I hope you enjoyed!

For those who read the other story, this chapter had a lot of similarities, but I promise the story is going to start changing more.

Please review and let me know what you think! Your feedback means so much and it's always encouraging!

The next chapter will not take so long.

Thank you so much for reading, favoriting, and following! Special thanks to my wonderful reviewers!

Hope to hear from you,

\- V :)


	6. Chapter 6

Ellie wakes in her bed with a violent headache and a very blurry recollection of last night. Her handmaiden is well-aware of her state and is careful in helping her prepare for the day. She opens the curtains just a crack with a sympathetic smile before assisting her with a bath. As she gently brushes the princess' long, black waves, Ellie struggles to stomach the toast brought in for her first meal. She sighs heavily between each nibble until finally giving up and draining the cup of water.

"Are you well enough for today's activities, Your Grace?" Tila, the young handmaiden, asks.

"What are the activities?" Ellie mumbles.

"You and Lord Robb are going over the wedding plans with Their Graces and Lord and Lady Stark."

The princess resists the urge to groan in dread, though she trusts that Tila would stay silent about her displeasure. She could say she's too sick to go, but it will just be postponed until she's better.

"Oh, yes, I'm fine."

"Are you sure? I'm sure they would all understand, Princess."

"Of course," Ellie forces a dismissive smile. "Thank you for the concern, Tila."

The handmaiden finishes helping Ellie get ready and soon there is a knock on her door. Tila opens it and quickly curtsies before moving out of the way so Robb can enter. He looks handsome as always and perfectly put together, but he eyes his intended with worry.

"How are you feeling?" Robb questions, clearly aware of the amount she drank last night.

"I'm good," Ellie lies. "How are you?"

"I'm well. I noticed you retired early last night."

"It's just been a long time since I've been to a feast so large. It wore me out rather quickly." That's not a lie and she's able to give a more genuine smile. "Shall we go?"

Robb nods and offers his arm for Ellie to loop with hers. He escorts her to the hall where their parents are waiting and thus begins an exhausting morning of wedding talk. The princess is very grateful for Robb's presence because she only receives a sharp scowl from her mother rather than a scolding. Subconsciously, her body angles itself behind him for protection from everyone's intrusive eyes and endless comments.

For his part, he handles everything. He answers all the questions and has all the right responses to every comment the queen throws their way. Ellie is reminded once more of how perfect Robb Stark is and how lucky she is to be marrying him. If only her heart didn't ache at the thought. She internally scolds herself, demanding that she abandon all her selfish thoughts and feelings, and hide everything until it's gone.

"It's too small, it will never fit the number of guests coming," Cersei quips as their group stands in the Sept that Ned had built for Cat when she first came to Winterfell.

"Mother," Ellie speaks up for the first time. Everyone turns to the princess and she tightens her hold on Robb minutely. "We're not getting married in the Sept. We're getting married in the godswood."

"That is a tradition for those who pray to the old gods, Eliana," the queen states in confusion.

"It's the tradition of the North," Ellie returns. "As the future Lady of Winterfell and the bride of the future Warden, I think it is important for us to abide by tradition."

Cersei scowls and Robert laughs heartily.

"Sending her here so young was a good idea after all," the king chuckles.

"Eliana," Cersei begins, ignoring her husband, but he interrupts.

"Isn't this what you want? For her to live up to expectations?" Robert demands. "This is a northern expectation, is it not?"

"Mother, please." Ellie ignores her father this time. She isn't interested in proving anyone right or wrong. "I want to be married in the godswood. It – it's what I've imagined since I came here."

Cersei is more than displeased, but for once, she concedes to her daughter's wishes. She returns to her demanding self quickly and is soon being guided to the heart tree where Ellie and Robb will wed. The couple falls behind their parents and Robb turns to his future wife.

"Did you mean that?" he asks in a low voice so only she will hear. "About imagining it?"

Ellie glances up at Robb and is surprised by the intensity of his gaze. She doesn't quite understand, but her imagining their wedding seems to mean something to him. It's not a lie, she has planned on their wedding being in the godswood. As she once told Jon, it would be seen better by the northerners and she always assumed it would be what Robb wants. Though, as searches his light blue eyes, she begins to suspect that it's her very thought of the wedding that means something to him. It's much more personal than she ever thought possible.

"Of course," she murmurs.

"I have too," he admits.

 _Yes_ , she concludes. _Much more personal_.

"Well, then we can't let anyone change it," Ellie insists with the sincerest smile she's given all day.

…

Ellie is going over the final details of her wedding with her mother in the dining hall. Cersei goes on endlessly while the princess watches Myrcella and Tommen playing a game at a different table. The wedding grows painfully closer with each passing day and it gets harder for Ellie to keep her emotions to herself. The truth is that her impending marriage makes her heart hurt. She wants to do her duty and appreciate Robb the way he deserves, but the more she thinks about committing to him for the rest of their lives, the more she realizes that she has already committed to another.

The door to the dining hall swings open and Joffrey walks in with the Hound. While Ellie would prefer not to spend any time with her brother, for once she is relieved by his presence. It will silence the wedding talk just long enough for her to gather herself again.

"Joffrey, where have you been?" Cersei questions.

"Trying to find something to do in this hellhole," the prince returns as he sits beside Ellie, turning to her with a sneer. "Hard to believe Father would banish his favorite to this wasteland."

"She has not been banished," the queen says with a reprimanding look, but the princess just rolls her eyes. She would take banishment over living with him any day.

"It's just a shame Jon Arryn had to croak or else we wouldn't have been dragged here too," he continues, unfazed by their mother's warning.

"It _is_ a shame Uncle Jon died," Ellie snaps. "It doesn't even make any sense."

"He was old, how does it not make any sense?"

"Because he was healthy. He died suddenly from a fever no one else caught," she explains emphatically, but Joffrey only looks at her like she's gone mad.

"Then, maybe he didn't die from a fever," Joffrey replies with a snide smirk.

"Of course he died from a fever," Cersei inserts quickly. "It was a tragedy."

"Whatever," the prince grumbles. "This conversation is just as boring as the land."

Eliana finds herself frozen to the chair with bumps breaking over her skin. Joffrey doesn't know anything, he only says things to get a rise from her. However, his words followed by their mother's quick defense sends a chill down her spine. What if he didn't die from a fever? What if the tragedy was purposeful rather than the accident everyone believes?

 _What if someone killed Jon Arryn?_

…

Eliana gnaws on her thumb as she waits around the corner for Lord Stark to leave her father's company. The suspicion brought on by her brother's careless comment has nearly crippled her with fear. After a full day and night of thinking about it, she comes to an unfortunate conclusion. Jon Arryn was a good man, a kind man, no one would want him dead. However, he held the most important role in court aside from her father's. The Hand of the King is the second most powerful man in the seven kingdoms and she can think of a thousand people who would want that power enough to kill.

What terrifies the princess now isn't the fact that a murderer runs free, but that the man she's seen as a father for the past six years is going to take the position.

She isn't sure what she hopes to do by waiting for Lord Stark, but she is willing to take desperate measures if it means protecting her family. She is more than willing to beg Ned Stark to stay in Winterfell no matter how much shame it will bring her.

Finally, the sound of a door opening accompanied by her father's laughter reaches her ears. Soon after, Ned passes without noticing the princess and she rushes to follow him, steeling herself for whatever this conversation may bring.

"Lord Stark," Ellie calls out. He stops at the sound of her voice, turning, and bowing at the sight of the young woman. "May I speak with you?"

"Princess, of course. What is it?"

Ellie glances around to see who is near before looking back at the man who will soon be her father-by-law. "It's about my father's requests of you. About naming you Hand and the marriage proposal for Sansa."

"What is it, child?" he asks curiously, not catching the tremor in her voice.

"I – I fear the worst will happen if you go to King's Landing, my lord. If you take Jon Arryn's position, you could be taking his fate as well," Ellie says, struggling to relay her panic to him. "Tell my father you cannot go, that you must stay in Winterfell. You are his dearest friend, he will forgive you and we'll all be family tomorrow anyway."

"Your Grace," Lord Stark measures his words carefully. "I must. I have already agreed, and I cannot go back on my word."

"Forget your word," the princess tells him urgently, completely abandoning any shred of propriety. "Forget your honor, your duty, all of it! The Capitol is a dangerous place and there is no reason for you to go other than the fact that my father asked. Please, Lord Stark."

"I do have a reason to go, I assure you, Princess," he sighs. "I've faced many dangers in my lifetime."

"Dangers you can see, dangers you know!" Ellie argues. "This is different, this is – this is all a game, and no one plays by the rules!"

"Ellie –"

"I know I'm young and I was just a child the last time I was there, but I know my home, Lord Stark. I know you. And – and I know that something is coming. I can feel it in my bones."

This seems to silence the Warden of the North for a moment as he carefully considers her words. He examines her face, searching for any sign that she might be lying or overexaggerating before he shakes his head with another sigh.

"Winter is coming," he tells the girl. He looks around before whispering. "To the crypts, I do not want stray ears to hear."

He walks away without another word as Ellie stays in confusion. She didn't expect this, that he would have a secret reason for wanting to go with her father. After searching for those watching as well, she quickly heads in the same direction. Sneaking down to the crypts, she walks through the dim candlelight until she finds Ned Stark in front of his sister's tomb.

Ellie stares at the stone statue of Lyanna Stark just as he does and notices the feather placed in the open palm.

"It's strange to me," Ellie admits quietly, unable to stop herself from disrupting the silence. "To know my father loved someone so much that he'd start a war for them when he hardly ever pays my mother a glance. I've always wondered about her. I've always wanted to know what she was like."

"You remind me of her," Lord Stark says. "As beautiful as you are wild, clever, and kind-hearted."

"Robb wants to name our first daughter after her because had she never held Father's heart, we wouldn't be together."

"I suppose that's true," he agrees. "Many things would not be as they are if not for my sweet sister."

"Do you think my father would have been a good husband to her?"

"Honestly, I do not know."

"I'd like to think he would. I'd like to think that her death is what made him what he is now," she murmurs. "Maybe if his life was spent with the one he truly loved, he'd be a better man and a better king."

"Your father is still a good man, Ellie."

"I know. He just doesn't understand – or doesn't care to – the things he needs to be the person he is expected to be."

"That's your dream, isn't it? To not have to be the person you are expected to be," Lord Stark murmurs. He says it matter-a-factly and nothing in his tone suggests that he disapproves, but Ellie immediately feels uncomfortable.

"Forgive me, my lord, but why have you brought me down here?"

"I'm telling you this, Ellie, because I know you can be trusted with such information, but you must never repeat it. You must forgive me for asking, but you cannot even tell my sons."

Eliana does not miss that he referenced more than just Robb in that sentence, but she ignores it.

"You have my word," she tells him.

"Catelyn's sister returned to the Eyrie and sent word. She believes Jon Arryn was murdered. You believe the same, don't you?"

Ellie nods, "Not at first, but the more I think about it, the more his death doesn't make sense."

"I agree," Lord Stark says.

"That's why you can't go to King's Landing," Ellie returns to her earlier argument. "Jon Arryn had no enemies, he was beloved by all the people. No one would just murder him because it was personal. Someone plotted against the Hand and I fear they will plot against you as well!"

"I must go," he reiterates as well. "If someone has plotted against the Hand, they may be plotting against the king."

Eliana hadn't thought of that. She was so focused on protecting her father-by-law and the Stark family, she failed to think of her own. If someone wants power enough to kill the Hand, what would stop them from harming her father? Or what if they know that her father relied on Jon Arryn to do most of the work in ruling the seven kingdoms and they wish to take the job to control Robert? Ellie is lost trying to understand the murderer's power plays while fear for all the people she cares for consumes her.

"It's just too dangerous…" she murmurs.

"Jon Arryn was like a father to me, I owe it to him to find his killer. And I owe it to your own father to protect him from the threat looming in his castle."

Ellie hears his words, but she's torn. Her father could be in danger and Ned Stark is probably the only one who could protect him. But if Ned Stark goes to King's Landing, he will be in danger with no one to protect him. How is there to be a right choice?

"The right decision is not always the favorable one," Lord Stark says.

He leaves her in the crypts to consider everything he has shared. Fear weighs heavily on Ellie, making it hard to stand. She wants to let it pull her to the ground and curl up against the cold dirt. She suddenly feels exhausted from all the turmoil swirling inside her. However, her eyes shift to the statue of Lyanna Stark and a terrible piece of history is brought forth to her mind, startling her awake.

The last Lord Stark who left Winterfell to go to King's Landing never returned home.

…

Hiding at the top of the broken tower, Ellie's conversation with Lord Stark replays over and over in her mind. Her thoughts race as she thinks about the danger her family is in and the wedding that will happen tomorrow. The fear grows with each passing minute until the princess is certain she will never catch her breath. Something looms in the future, a black cloud darkening the sky, and knowing that she is powerless makes the tears burn in Eliana's eyes.

With her arms wrapped around her legs, Ellie pulls her knees tighter to her chest, knowing it's the only way to keep herself together. She wants to cry so badly, but she fights the urge. Tomorrow she will be wed to Robb, that is her duty. Lord Stark will find the answers and protect her father. She tries to trust that he will be okay as everyone else trusts that she will do as she's expected. Crying will do nothing, so she shoves the emotions down and tries to lock them all in a box permanently.

"Ugh!" The princess tries to release her frustration with a groan and listens as it echoes in the silence while her forehead falls to her knees.

"Ellie?" A familiar voice finds her and she feels a brief sense of relief as she peeks up at Jon's concerned expression revealed in the extra candlelight. "How long have you been up here?"

"I don't know," she mutters.

He moves to sit beside her on the dusty floor like usual, stretching his legs in front of him. He sets the candle down and they watch the shadows dance as they remain in silence. Jon's presence does a great deal for Ellie. It offers her enough strength to temporarily halt all the tumultuous feelings driving her mad. Soon, she's resting her head on his shoulder and his arm wraps around her to keep warm. Eliana would rather spend the rest of her life up here with Jon than go back down to the chaos her family has brought to Winterfell for even a moment. Truth be told, she would rather spend the rest of her life with him no matter the circumstances.

But that is a horrifyingly wrong thought and she quickly shakes it from her mind.

"Ellie," Jon murmurs, breaking the peace the silence has given them. "I have to tell you something."

"What is it?" she questions hesitantly.

Jon pulls away so he can look in her eyes, but the solemn set of his own makes her stomach flip.

"I've decided to join the Night's Watch."

A chill runs down Ellie's spine, freezing her blood. "W-what?"

"I've given it a lot of thought and I think it's what's best. Father has already agreed."

Benjen Stark's words from before come back to her. _Maybe you could talk some sense into him._ She didn't understand then, but now she's appalled to learn the truth.

"No, you – you can't!" She argues.

"It's where I belong."

"No one belongs on the Wall, Jon. Your place is here in Winterfell!"

"No, it isn't," he returns. "I have no place here, but I can at the Wall. I can live an honorable life protecting people, make something of myself."

"Make something of yourself?" The princess is completely bewildered. "You can do all that here. It will be miserable at Castle Black, not to mention dangerous."

"I'm not afraid."

"Well, I am! Please, Jon, please don't go!"

He sighs, climbing to his feet and shaking his head. "I'm sorry, but I'm not changing my mind."

With his back to her, the distance between them becomes real and she cannot fight the urge to cry anymore. Tears spring from her blue eyes, leaving hot trails down her cold cheeks.

"You're just going to leave me?" Eliana asks brokenly. The weakness of her voice makes Jon tense and he turns back to find her standing and pleading with him as she cries.

"I'm not leaving _you_ , Ellie," he says. "But things are changing. Father and the kids are going south. You have a life to live with Robb. I must live my own as well."

"Why can't you live it here?" she demands tearfully. "Why does that have to change?"

"Because it…it just does. Don't make it any harder, Ellie," Jon begs tiredly.

"I will make it harder because I don't want a life in Winterfell if you're not here!" She shouts, her voice breaking midsentence.

"And what life would I have here?" Jon returns sharply, frustrated with this argument, and upset that he's made her cry.

"I don't know," she answers weakly, unfamiliar with his tone. "A normal one? One where you marry and have children and –"

"That's not the life for me," he interrupts.

"And why not?" Eliana moves closer to him as he grows blurrier with each sob that tremors through her body.

"Because there is only one girl I would want that life with, only one girl I would marry," Jon tells her firmly. "But I can't marry her."

"Why?" she questions desperately.

"Because she's marrying my brother tomorrow."

Ellie stares up at Jon in shock. Her heart thuds in her chest, deafening to her ears in the heavy silence. Jon moves forward slowly, closing the space between them. His rough palm finds the delicate skin of her cheek and he uses his thumb to brush away some of her tears. He gives her the opportunity to pull away and when she doesn't, he ducks his head just enough to press his lips against hers.

The kiss is soft, barely more than a gentle brush, but it's enough to set a fire blooming inside of her. He pulls away just a few inches to look in her eyes.

"I love you, Ellie," Jon says softly. "That's why I must leave."

She shakes her head, orbs of blue pleading with him. It hurts more than she ever imagined anything could feel. His words make her heart soar and shatter all at once. All these years in Winterfell, she has struggled to hide the truth, to hide what Jon means to her. Now, she knows this should be the end to a relationship that never should have existed. Tomorrow, she'll be Robb's forever and begin the life decided for her at birth. She should step back and let Jon go without argument.

But the warmth in Ellie's chest is undeniable and the words spill out before she can stop them.

"I love you too, Jon."

His dark eyes widen at her confession. They gaze at one another, the air between them smoldering, completely contrasting with the cool air of the tower. Jon seems to be searching for something in her expression and Ellie knows everything he'll find – love, need, desperation. All for him.

They move at the same time; their lips find each other's like it's where they've always belonged. This kiss is different, heated and desperate. Full of everything they've always wanted and everything they'll never have. A whole lifetime of love is felt in their fevered embrace while all else is forgotten.

Neither of them is thinking straight, though Ellie would argue her mind has never been clearer. Neither of them is thinking about the consequences of their roaming hands or their cloaks falling to the ground. When he pushes her until she's pressed against the wall and their lips part to deepen the kiss, they truly are just Jon and just Ellie, finally together.

Ellie's arms wrap around his neck and her fingers tangle in his black curls. Jon's hands travel to her waist, squeezing and massaging her skin through her dress. As his tongue slips into her mouth to meet hers, a hunger consumes her and a warmth she's never felt pools in her center. She realizes that she not only wants more, she _needs_ more. More of Jon's lips, more of his hands, more of _him_.

Everything becomes a flurry of heat and urgency. Their layers of clothing are torn away piece by piece. Every inch of their skin is explored by the other with desperate fingers and lips. Jon touches parts of Ellie's body that she never knew could feel so good.

When he sinks to his knees to kiss her most intimate area, she practically melts. With her fingers knotted in his hair, Jon licks and sucks a bundle of nerves that sends endless shudders of pleasure through her body. Before she realizes what's happening, all her muscles clench together in the most delicious way and she's crying out his name in ecstasy.

Ellie's first climax doesn't slow them at all. If anything, they grow more desperate. She falls to her knees with him, kissing Jon with fervor, tasting herself on his tongue. He lays her on the ground, both completely unfazed by the dust, and his breeches, the only clothes left between them, are finally ridden. She doesn't have an opportunity to be embarrassed by the sight of his manhood because her mind is too focused on bringing him closer.

Their kisses are only broken when Jon pulls away enough to look at her in silent question as he presses himself against her entrance. Ellie can see his concern clear in his eyes as a snippet of reality forces its way through. They both know they're about to do something that can never be undone and that this is their last chance to stop. They know they should put their clothes on, run from the tower, and never look back.

But they don't. They _can't_.

This is their only chance to belong to each other. Their only chance to share their love.

So, Ellie kisses Jon with everything she has, and Jon makes Ellie his for just this night.

* * *

Hello!

I am so sorry for yet another delay! It was the last part of this chapter that made it take so long. I kept rewriting it because I was trying to decide how detailed I wanted to be in it. I wasn't sure if it should be a full-on lemon or just very vague. In the end, I decided I wanted to focus more on their emotions than the physical, so this is how it went.

So...what do you think about Ellie and Jon's night together? What do you think about this happening the night before her wedding?

Also, writing wise and for future reference, in scenes like this, do you want more details, less, or is this good? Please let me know so I can make this story better!

The feedback was awesome, thank you so much! Please review because I truly love hearing from you and it's very encouraging!

Thank you so much for reading, favoriting, and following! Special thanks to my wonderful reviewers!

Hope to hear from you,

\- V :)


	7. Chapter 7

"You must eat, my darling," Cersei urges as Ellie picks at her bacon. "You didn't eat supper last night."

"I'm not hungry," the princess murmurs.

Eliana's heart is shattered.

Last night was a mistake. If anyone knew what she did, she would be deemed a whore. Robb Stark would never want to marry her. She'd shame her family and ruin everything they planned. And if she knows her mother at all, then Cersei would have it twisted to make it look like Jon took advantage of Ellie. Blaming the bastard is the only and easiest way to clear the princess' name. And if her father even suspected a man of touching her without permission, he'd castrate him for sure.

Only bad things can come of what they did, but she still doesn't regret it. Jon has been everything to her for six years. Even knowing they can never be together didn't stop her from loving him with her whole heart. Now, she's losing him forever, so she refuses to wish that last night never happened. It was one night to be his and for him to be hers. It was one night to share their love, one night to remember forever.

If only that could ease the pain, though.

"I wasn't hungry on my wedding day either," the queen says. "And I didn't sleep much the night before."

Ellie glances up to find her mother staring at her. She withholds her sigh of exhaustion. She knows that she'll have to pretend that everything is okay later tonight, but she can't bring herself to do it right now.

"Is it the wedding that's causing your nerves or the duties that come with it?" Cersei continues when she remains silent.

The princess scoffs, surprising her mother. She isn't worried about her duties, she's worried about hiding the fact she's no longer a maid from Robb.

"You know what you must do?"

"Of course, I'm not a child, Mother," Ellie mumbles.

"I imagine Lady Stark explained many things to you in my absence," Cersei mutters.

"I am her ward, she acted as a mother when I needed one."

"She let you run wild," the queen counters. "As did Lord Stark. I've talked to your handmaiden, she has told me many stories."

"I'm the princess, who was going to stop me?" Ellie challenges. "You make it sound as if I'm bad. I was a child and I was having fun. Just be glad my fun doesn't involve harming others."

Cersei sighs, giving her a reproachful look at the reference to Joffrey. "I never said you were bad, Eliana."

"Haven't you?" Ellie retorts.

The queen sighs again. "You are so much like me, Ellie. You can't even see it."

Eliana stiffens at the comparison. It isn't the first time she's heard something similar. Though, last time she was a child and her Uncle Jaime told her in passing. She can't even remember what she had done to earn such a decree. She does remember how horrified she had been. If she as a child was just like her mother, then she could only imagine that she would grow up to be equally as miserable and harsh. That was when she finally conceded to the demands and became the person her father despised.

"Take the children," Cersei orders the nearby handmaidens and they quickly scurry the youngest princess and prince out of the dining hall. Once they are gone, she turns to her eldest. "Myrcella is so easy. She loves being a princess. Someday she'll grow up and marry a lord, probably love him in the most innocent way. She'll never know what it's like for women like us."

"Like us?"

"I wanted to protect you, Ellie, from a life of misery. The moment you were born and I looked into your sweet eyes, I saw the spark and knew you would never live the life expected of you. As you grew, you became wild, questioning everything, fighting with all your might to be free from your restraints. And that terrified me because I knew exactly how it would end."

"H-how does it end?" Ellie asks, though she already knows the answer.

"With you brokenhearted," her mother answers sadly. "Your father, for once, was right. I was trying to turn you into a little bird who would like her cage because it would be simpler for you, happier. I should have known it would never work."

"Mother –"

"I'm sorry, Ellie."

…

With her mother's admission racing through her mind, Ellie searches for escape to no avail. Her safe place is no longer safe, the godswood is crawling with people preparing for the wedding, the castle is full of guests, and handmaidens flit in and out of her bedchambers. She just wants a moment of peace to gather herself before she bursts into tears, but the gods won't grant her such a simple request. She wanders the castle grounds trying to dodge all the happiness floating around, but eventually she ends up back in her own chambers to get ready.

Ellie is bathed and pampered, which would be enjoyable for any other woman, but she can't let go of her sadness. Cersei sits beside her the entire time, watching closely and commanding all the women around them.

The princess has her hair done carefully in a simple style that she prefers. Two small braids that start in the front and connect in the back, falling against the dark, natural waves. Tiny white blossoms are placed throughout like glittering snowflakes. She's surprised because it's far from a southern hairstyle, but she never had an opinion in her appearance for tonight. The queen made all the final decisions.

"Your husband-to-be and your father are in agreement that there will be no bedding ceremony," Cersei comments off-handedly.

A faint smile crosses Eliana's lips out of relief. It doesn't surprise her that Robert wouldn't want to see his daughter carried off and stripped by a group of men. It is a little surprising that Robb has given it any thought, but she finds it a bit comforting that he cares. It has always been a tradition she didn't like.

"Would you like to see your dress, darling?"

Ellie's lost gaze comes to focus on the white dress Tila is holding. The delicate fabric looks like it's made of snow, but still thick enough to be worn in the north's cold air. There's lace over the sleeves and train and a beautiful white fur to keep her shoulders warm. Her eyes catch the embroidering at the bottom and as she peers at it closer, she realizes it's the design of flowers.

The princess turns to her mother. "You chose this?"

"I worked with my favorite designer. I thought you would like it," Cersei explains simply. "Was I right?"

She nods vaguely as tears prick her eyes. It's nothing like she ever imagined her mother would have made. All her life, she truly believed Cersei didn't know or understand her. Yet, a single day has proven the last sixteen years wrong. Her mother has known Ellie all along and perhaps she was being completely honest this morning. She only acted so disapproving towards the princess' personality to protect her.

"Thank you," she murmurs.

Soon, Ellie is dressed in the wedding gown. The fine fabric caresses her skin as she is adorned in compliments, but the princess barely hears them. Staring into the small mirror, her blue eyes reflect the ache in her chest. She looks like a bride, but she feels like a fraud.

Cersei dismisses the women from the bedchambers and they leave with quick curtsies as Ellie returns to her seat. Her mother joins her and gently covers Ellie's hand with her own.

"I thought you liked the Stark boy."

"I do," Eliana mumbles.

"But you love another," Cersei concludes easily. Ellie stiffens and her heart beats as loud as thunder.

"I –" Her instinct is to defend herself, to lie, but the words die on her tongue. "I know it's wrong."

"Ellie," she sighs sadly. "We do not get to choose who we love."

"No," Eliana murmurs as she gazes at her mother. It occurs to her that the same pain reflects in the queen's green eyes. "Did you…did you love another when you were wed?"

Cersei's silence is more answer than Ellie needs.

"When does it stop, Mother? When do I stop loving him and hurting?" the young girl presses. For the first time, she's desperate for her mother's knowledge.

"I'm not sure it does," the queen admits.

Her words make Ellie sick as she realizes that her mother has been married for seventeen years and still feels the same pain that she feels not even a night into her marriage.

"Allow me to give you a piece of advice," Cersei says gently. "Keep your heart closed. Someday you will have children, love only them. The more you love, the weaker you are and, in a world where our choices are not our own, we must be strong."

…

The moment has come.

Ellie sits in front of the crackling fire shaking, but her eyes are dry of any tears. Robert waits outside the door; his knock is like a bell ringing as an announcement. He has come to escort her to the godswood and hand her over to Robb.

"Come in," the princess calls out weakly in the silence of her chambers.

"My wildflower," his voice fills the room, more affectionate than the boisterous tone others experience. "You are the most beautiful girl in the seven kingdoms."

He takes the seat that her mother vacated not long ago, and Ellie finally turns to look at him. He is red-cheeked and gruff as usual but doesn't reek of wine. He wears his crown and his most regal clothes for this occasion. She's distracted from his appearance, however, by the long, wooden box now resting on his legs.

"A gift," he tells her.

Raising a curious brow, Ellie watches as he pulls the cover off and sets it on the floor. In the firelight, she sees the silver pommel first as the king lifts the scabbard to show her. With a hand wrapped around the grip, the ring of metal sounds as he removes the sword to reveal the shining blade. Ellie's eyes widen in shock as he hands it to her and she holds it with flattened palms.

"Wow," she whispers as she examines the intricacy of it. The pommel, she realizes, is a silver direwolf while the grip is decorated with crowned stags.

"For my grandson," he says. "He'll be a warrior, I know it."

It's heavy, the steel is expensive, and the handle even more so. She likes the feel of it, but the idea that her unborn child will someday wield it twists her stomach.

"Baratheon and Stark blood…the best of the kingdoms." The king's voice suddenly becomes pinched. "In another life, you would be cousins."

Ellie tears her eyes away from the present to the sorrow in his familiar blue. She's unable to keep silent now. "A life in which you were happy, Father?"

Their gazes meet, his aged and dreary, hers sad and tired. Her father once loved someone so much that he killed every man who stood in between them. His love caused a war, but perhaps that was a weakness in itself. As Robb mentioned to her before, without Robert's heartbreak from the tragedy of Lyanna Stark, they would not be here. She begins to believe that it isn't just women who have no choice in their lives. Her father didn't have a choice when Lyanna died. He married another and grew miserable as well.

Unsettled, she glances away, her gaze finding the silver wolf. She assumed in the silence that envelopes them that her father has no intention of answering, so she's surprised when his gruff voice breaks it.

"Aye."

Ellie suddenly feels disappointed even though she knew the answer. To know her father has never been happy in her life or in Joffrey's, Myrcella's, and Tommen's is crushing. If even his children were not enough to heal at least part of the hurt within him, then it's hopeless. They have no choice and even the love her mother said she should feel can't heal broken hearts.

"But it will be a life in which you are happy," he adds rather certainly.

She looks from him to the sword in her hand and a strange feeling fills her. The way her stomach ties in a knot feels like a warning not a confirmation.

…

Jon has tried hard his entire life to not be jealous of his brother, but it has always been no use. He will always envy Robb for all the things he has that Jon never will. A family name, a mother, a place in Winterfell.

And Ellie.

He wasn't jealous at first, why would he be? They were children, and Robb was told from the time they were little that he would eventually marry the unknown princess. He never had a choice and the assumption was that he wouldn't even know what she looked or acted like until they came of age and met right before the wedding. Robb had the fear that she would be the worst person in the world and he would be trapped with her anyway. So, his betrothal was the one thing Jon didn't need to envy.

But then she arrived in Winterfell.

Robb wasn't particularly excited when their father told him the princess was coming to live with them six years ago, and all the things they were doing around the castle to prepare for her arrival wasn't encouraging. He was worried she would be a snob and demand her every whim be catered, which Jon thought was hilarious. The idea of his half-brother being forced to tend to another child was the one imperfect part of life that Jon didn't want to experience.

Jon felt that way until the moment Ellie climbed out of the wheelhouse and he saw her for the first time. She was beautiful, that was no question, but there was something else about her, something that made her different from everyone else in the world. Then, when they met in the stables, Jon experienced the first time anyone looked at him as only Jon and not the bastard of Winterfell.

It was stupid. It was stupid to fall in love with her. It was stupid to ever pretend that they were equals and had a choice in this life. And it was a mistake to tell her. He should have just told her about the Night's Watch and walked away. It would have hurt her, but the pain would have been temporary. Nothing like the guilt Jon is sure they both feel for the betrayal of Robb.

For the first time, Jon hoped Lady Stark would exclude him because he didn't want to watch Ellie marry his brother or anyone for that matter, but Robb insisted that he not only be there, but be at the front with the rest of his family. So, forced to stand in the front row, he desperately tries to hide all the pain he feels from wanting to be the one marrying Ellie tonight.

Jon glances over at Robb who is none the wiser to his betrayal. The young lord looks nervous with his constant shifting, but he's trying not to show it. He gazes down the pathway lined with lanterns and, despite how anxious he seems, he looks happy. Why wouldn't he? Ellie is easy to love and she's about to promise herself to him forever. She's everything anyone would dream to have, and Robb gets her.

 _But I had her first._

Jon feels ashamed as he stares at Robb, for what he did and for his lack of regret. He had one night with Ellie, one night to hold her heart. It's a lie to say he wished it never happened. He would relive that night for the rest of his life if he could. That's what makes the guilt so much worse.

He turns away from his brother, unsure if he'll ever be able to look him in the eye again. However, his thoughts are soon silenced by the quiet murmuring in the crowd as everyone turns their attention to the opposite side of the path. Jon follows their gazes and sees _her._

Ellie walks with her father slowly with their arms hooked. Her white dress glows in the lantern light and trails behind her in the grass. The godswood is swallowed in silence as no one can tear their eyes from the princess. Jon's heart races at the sight of her, struck by her beauty, and devastated even more. His eyes burn with tears he forces back, but as she passes him, Jon isn't sure if that is possible.

The princess is careful to only look ahead. She walks with grace and poise, but she's tense. The small smile on her lips is forced. Jon realizes that Ellie is desperately trying to be happy and he imagines that none of the wedding guests can tell it's an act. He knows her well enough to read every curve of her lips and every look in her eyes. He knows that this arranged marriage was never what she wanted, but she and Robb always got along. He never imagined that he would see the pain swimming in her blue gaze.

 _Why does she look so broken?_ Jon wonders silently. _Is it because of me?_

Jon feels someone staring at him and looks across the path to where the royal family stands. The queen's piercing green eyes examine him carefully with a creased forehead. It only lasts a moment before Cersei's attention returns to her daughter and Jon doesn't have any time to think about it because the ceremony officially begins.

"Who comes before the old gods this night?" Lord Stark's voice fills the woods.

"The Princess Eliana," King Robert's voice booms in reply, "of the House Baratheon, comes here to be wed. A woman grown, trueborn and noble. She comes to beg the blessing of the gods. Who comes to claim her?"

Robb steps forward, eyes trained only on Ellie as he answers, "Robb of House Stark, heir to Winterfell. Who gives her?"

"Robert of the House Baratheon, first of his name, King of the Andals and the First Men, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms, and Protector of the Realm."

"Princess Eliana," Ned addresses her. "Do you take this man?"

There's a beat of silence when Jon is certain that the only thing anyone can hear is his heart pounding. A life passes in that second that it takes her to form words and he dies a little when she finally does.

"I take this man," Ellie says in a strong voice that echoes for all the North to hear.

Jon remembers the first time during training that he got hit so hard that it knocked him off his feet. All the air came out of his lungs in one swift movement and for the brief moments it took for him to catch his breath, the pain and darkness that comes with the feeling of suffocating was terrifying. Hearing those words that cemented Ellie and Robb's marriage is a thousand times worse.

Ellie removes her arm from the king's and takes Robb's hand as they move forward together to the heart tree. They kneel before it and bow their heads, rising together in silent prayer. After it's over, Ned tells Robb to remove Ellie's maiden cloak and he does, replacing it with the bride's cloak. Then, it's over. She is no longer just Ellie and he is not just Robb, they are man and wife.

The tears are still hot in his eyes, but he pushes them back. He pushes them back because he sees her expression, he sees the emotions swimming in her beautiful eyes and the mask shielding her delicate face, and he knows that she needs strength. His weakness will crack her façade and ruin it all even more, so he swallows his sadness, grits his teeth against the pain of his broken heart, and forces himself to be happy for them.

As much as he hates this, as much as he wants to hate Robb and even hate her, he can't. Jon loves his brother and he loves Ellie with his whole heart. He just wants her to be happy.

Even if he's not.

* * *

Hi!

I'm sorry this chapter is so short! I was trying to make sure it flowed together. The next chapter should be much longer!

What did you think? I know there wasn't a lot happening, but there's some backstory to explain Ellie and Cersei's relationship. And then this is just the beginning of Ellie and Jon dealing with the guilt for what they did, but also the sadness of not being able to be together.

Also, I just wanted to acknowledge something from a review. I know Jon doesn't seem like the type to sleep with his brother's soon-to-be wife, especially when we see him put duty above love with Ygritte, but I want it to be different with Ellie. A lot of this story is about the struggle between love and duty, so this is just the beginning of the fight for both characters. I'd love to hear your take on that and any suggestions for future chapters! :)

The reviews were amazing for the last chapter! I was so excited to see how many there were and to hear your opinions! Your feedback is so appreciated and it's so important to me. Thank you!

Thank you so much for reading, favoriting, and following. Special thanks to all you lovely reviewers!

Hope to hear from you,

\- V :)


	8. Chapter 8

The wedding feast is even more overwhelming than the one that welcomed the royal family. An endless sea of guests congratulates the young couple and most seem sincere in their wishes of having a good life. It was smart to send the princess to Winterfell six years ago because the young southerner managed to slip into the hearts of every northerner she met. The proof comes in all the kind smiles and words. The difference up here is that Ellie never feels as though there is an underlying meaning behind everything. Everything was so calculated in King's Landing. It's a relief that Winterfell is not the same.

Ellie has barely touched her food from her lack of appetite and she only allows herself to sip the wine despite her desire to just guzzle the pitcher. She knows the red drink could help numb her heart and maybe give her courage for the night ahead, but after the welcoming feast, she can't risk embarrassing herself or her new husband.

After speaking with her mother and her father, the unhappiest married couple she knows, Eliana made her own silent vow during the wedding. She is determined to be the proper wife Robb Stark deserves. One who doesn't hate her situation, sleep with other men, or love his half-brother. So, she smiles at everyone who looks at her, tries to glance lovingly at the man beside her, and pretends like there aren't tears brimming in her eyes the whole time.

"There are more people than I thought there would be," Robb murmurs.

"Guess we're more interesting than we thought," Ellie jokes quietly.

Robb chuckles and Ellie glances over to see her husband gazing at her with the sweetest expression. As she meets the sky blue of his eyes, she can't help but think, once again, that he's perfect. She suddenly doubts her ability to even pretend to be the wife he deserves. She can be a proper, true lady, but perfection is impossible for her. If it wasn't, then she wouldn't be struggling at all.

A throat clearing startles the princess from her thoughts and she automatically turns to whoever is standing in front of their table, bringing back her practiced smile. However, her heart plummets as do her lips when she sees who is there. Jon stands awkwardly, avoiding making direct eye contact with Ellie and giving a poorly forced smile to the new couple.

"I wanted to wish the new lord and lady all the best," Jon says in a stiff voice.

"Thank you, brother," Robb replies, beaming happily.

Jon shifts his gaze to Ellie and her breath catches in her throat at the intensity. A myriad of emotions that mirror hers swim around in his dark eyes. The heartbreak devastating the princess shines in the orbs of brown. His pain cuts into her deeper than her own and his sadness brings tears to her eyes, but she can see him fighting to hide it all.

"I know you'll be very happy together," he adds.

Ellie swallows the sob in her throat and answers in a tremulous voice. "Thank you, Jon."

Before the air around the three can get uncomfortable enough for Robb to be suspicious, Joffrey shows up to begrudgingly ask Ellie to dance. Never in her life has she been so happy to see her brother and she agrees, leaving the man she loves and the man she's supposed to love before tears can fall.

…

Ellie's heart beats like thunder as she enters their marriage chambers with Robb for the first time. There is already a fire burning in the hearth and candles lit around the room. It's warm and should be comfortable, but all the princess wants is to run away.

"Would you like some wine?" Robb offers, an anxious hint to his voice.

"That would be great," she murmurs.

She follows him to the small table where a pitcher and two goblets already wait. Robb's hands are slightly shaky as he pours for both of them. Ellie offers hers in cheers after picking it up and their cups touch with a barely audible clink.

"To our marriage," she says. _Please let it be a good one_ , she prays silently.

Robb clears his throat after drinking to her toast and meets her curious gaze with a serious one. "There's something I wanted to talk to you about, Ellie."

Her skin prickles suddenly as she fears the worst. _He knows. How does he know?_

"Is everything alright?"

"Well, I'd like it to be," he answers vaguely.

Ellie tries to speak, but her heart lodges in her throat. She quickly searches for some excuse or lie in case he does know what happened last night, but his next words have her blanching in response.

"I know you didn't want to marry me."

"W-what? Robb – I –?" The princess shakes her head, trying to lie to preserve his feelings, but too shocked to make it believable.

"I'm in insightful, remember?" he jokes half-heartedly. "It's okay, I understand. I didn't want this in the beginning either. It almost felt like a punishment, especially when they said you were coming here so early. But then you got here and I got to know you. Falling in love as we got older was easy and eventually I couldn't imagine marrying anyone else."

Eliana's eyes widen, her broken heart twinging. "Robb…you love me?"

Robb lets out a shaky chuckle. "Y-yeah, I do. And I know you don't love me in return, but I hope someday you will. I want you to know that I just want you to be happy. I know you want freedom, I'll give that to you any way I can. I'm your husband, not your owner. I'm not going to try to control you or anything like that."

"Robb," she whispers.

"I just want to have a happy life with you, Ellie. I'll do anything I can to make it happen."

Tears brim in her eyes as she stares at her new husband, at a complete loss of words. Robb is so genuinely good that it physically hurts. She's drowning in her guilt, suffocating from his sincerity. He means every word and she's ashamed of herself for making him feel the need to make such a declaration.

If she would put away her own selfish desire, perhaps they could be happy.

"Thank you," she murmurs. "I want us to have a happy marriage too."

His resounding smile makes her heart flutter.

"I noticed you enjoyed dancing tonight," he says, instantly transforming the serious air between them.

"I did…I hated dancing as a child, but it was so fun tonight."

"You seemed so happy," he tells her. "Even with Joffrey."

The princess chuckles, "Yeah, he can be… _decent_ when he wants. I was just glad that I got to keep dancing."

"Well, there's no reason to stop now. Let's dance."

"Now?" Ellie laughs in surprise. "There's no music."

"Do you want me to go get someone to play for us?" He teases as he stands, pulling Ellie to her feet. "Dance with me, Lady Stark."

Eliana giggles as he wraps an arm around her waist and their fingers lace together. Robb pulls her much closer than he had when everyone was watching earlier. He guides her around the large space of their shared chambers smoothly even without a tune. He spins her around, making her laugh happily, and relax even more. Nothing is forced in their privacy and Ellie didn't expect how much easier it would be to breathe behind the closed door.

They dance for a while in the firelight, drifting even closer together. Now, Ellie rests her cheek on his chest and listens to his heart beating as fast as hers. Suddenly, she feels his hand trail up her back until it reaches her neck. She glances up at him to find him gazing at her intently. His hand moves to cup her cheek and his eyes flickering to her lips silently asks for permission. Ellie's response is to lean closer and then their lips connect.

The kiss is different than what she shared with Jon. There's no heat, no desperation, and something is missing entirely. Even as Robb pulls her flush against his chest and she wraps her arms around his neck in return, the fire isn't there. When he pulls away, she fears that he's angry and frustrated with her, but the look in his eyes says he doesn't notice what they're lacking.

 _Maybe he feels something that I don't._

"You're so beautiful, Ellie," he whispers, stroking her cheek with his thumb. "I can't believe I'm the one who got to marry you."

His words make her heart ache, hurting for both of them, so she kisses him again. Robb takes this as encouragement to move forward and Ellie is relieved. As long as he is enjoying himself, that's all that matters because he won't notice that she's forcing everything.

The fumbling to remove their clothes is familiar to Ellie, but it lacks the urgency tonight. She tries to hide that she's just going through the motions, desperate to make Robb believe that she likes all of it.

It isn't until Robb is unlacing her bodice, having already rid himself of his doublet and tunic, that a shiver courses through her from the warmth of his fingers. As her wedding gown drops to the floor and her husband's hands move to the straps of her shift, her skin flushes with embarrassment. With Jon, she didn't have the time or the clarity of mind to worry about being naked in front of a man, but now in all the candlelight, she's bare to Robb Stark.

Mortified, she ducks her head and stares at her toes.

She can feel his eyes taking in every part of her as he moves to stand in front of her. His hands come to hold either side of her face, bringing it up gently to kiss her again. Finally, Ellie feels something as Robb tries to convey his feelings with his lips. When he pulls away, the princess is shocked by the tingling in her body and her husband seems to read her expression as he grins in pride.

Silently, he guides her to their new bed, pulling back the covers, and letting her climb in first. She feels better shielded by the sheets, but now her nerves are getting the better of her. Ellie doesn't know how to hide the fact she isn't a maid anymore and she has run out of time to think. Robb has rid himself of the rest of his clothing and climbed beneath the sheets as well.

He lays on his side staring at his young wife's blushing face, so Ellie takes a deep breath before turning to face him in return. Robb shifts closer and captures her lips once more. It's starts out gentle and sweet, as pure as the young lord is and as pure as the princess should be. Even as it deepens naturally and their tongues begin a dance, he still works softly like he believes she's fragile. It isn't until Robb moves their bodies so Ellie is laying back against the pillows with her new husband's body draped over hers that it becomes more heated.

They part for air and Robb takes the opportunity to trail kisses down her jaw and neck. Ellie gasps at the sensation of his warm lips and her skin tingles in the path he makes as he continues to her collarbone. His bare skin sticks to hers as their chambers become hotter. She desperately tries to control her breathing and calm her impending panic, but then his mouth finds her breasts. Her gasp of shock is louder, but Robb seems unfazed. His hand massages one of her breasts while his mouth sucks on the taut nipple of the other.

Despite the situation, she can't deny how good it feels. Just as an unpermitted moan escapes her mouth, Robb's hand leaves her breast to trail down her bare stomach and keeps going to her most private area. His fingers trace the folds of her womanhood, touching the same spot Jon had discovered the night before. Her hips buck much to her embarrassment and Robb lifts his head with a satisfied smile. His fingers continue to move until suddenly they're inside her and Ellie's hand flies his head, her own fingers threading through his auburn hair.

Robb pulls his fingers out and trails them back up her body so she can feel her own wetness on her skin. He moves up so he can kiss her again and the gentleness disappears just long enough to take her breath away.

"Are you ready, Ellie?" Robb whispers against her lips.

When Jon tried to ask the same question, he only said her name and Ellie replied, nearly begging, with a simple _please_. It's so different now and she can only nod, but Robb wastes no time pressing his hardness against her entrance. Fear tightens in her belly and he sees that on her face. Luckily, he misinterprets it as nervousness for her first time and kisses her softly in response.

"I'll go slow, I promise, my love," he murmurs so sweetly.

Robb does as he says so Ellie can feel every bit of his length inside her. The pain is nothing like before, but the lack of passion makes the ache harder to ignore tonight.

As he thrusts, the physical pain lessens and Robb does everything he can to bring his wife some pleasure. He kisses everywhere he can reach, teases her nipples that way she so obviously enjoys, and touches that spot below with his fingers that makes her hips buck to meet his. It does feel good as Robb makes her his own, but the pain in her heart is impossible to ignore so the pleasure is short-lived.

When Robb finishes and their wedding night is complete, Ellie swears the broken pieces of her heart begin to bleed.

She can barely feel the relief when her husband pulls out without bothering to check if the blood of a maid stains the sheets and his skin. He moves off her before pulling her flush against his sweaty chest.

"Was that okay?" he murmurs as he kisses her ear.

"Yes," she whispers, trying to hide the sadness in her voice. "Thank you for being gentle."

"You don't have to thank me for that," he assures. "I will never hurt you, Ellie."

"I know," she says tearfully.

Ellie is not sure if he hears the emotion in her voice or if he sees the tears soaking her eyelashes, but he holds her tighter, nonetheless. The princess knows her husband will never intentionally hurt her and he can never be blamed for the pain she already feels. Only she is responsible for her broken heart. Now, she must ensure she never breaks Robb's heart in return as she has already broken Jon's.

…

When the morning comes, Ellie doesn't remember ever falling asleep. She was awake for hours trying to silence her crying and stop her tears. She watched Robb sleep for a long time as well, tracing his handsome features with a shaky finger, and brushing away his untamed curls. With his gentle, kind heart, his strong Northern soul, she wants so desperately to love him, but she's completely unworthy because her thoughts always go back to Jon.

Jon was the last thing she remembers thinking about before her exhaustion finally let her sleep.

Waking up naked beside her new husband left her nearly red with embarrassment, but Robb kissed her happily like it was the best way he could ever start his day. Tila knocking on the door had him jumping out of bed and throwing on his pants before ever glimpsing at the sheets, so Ellie can only hope that he will never know that she wasn't a maid since he never took the time to look for blood.

Robb brings her a robe and allows her to cover her body before letting the handmaiden inside to clean.

"My lord, my lady," the familiar girl curtsies quickly before getting to work.

Ellie panics for a moment as Tila pulls the sheets and covers from the bed. The girl will see there's no blood and be suspicious at the very least. The princess worries her handmaiden may share her suspicions with others, but the girl doesn't bat an eyelash at the sheets or even give her lady a strange look.

"I'll set the water on the fire for your bath, Lady Stark," Tila says with her normal smile.

"Thank you," Ellie murmurs, trying to swallow her fear.

 _It's over_ , she tells herself. _It only matters what Robb believes and he doesn't seem to know._

"Lady Stark," Robb repeats, drawing Ellie away from her thoughts. "Shall we have breakfast just the two of us? I am not ready to share my wife with everyone just yet."

His charming smile settles her nerves and she nods in agreement.

"That sounds perfect."

…

Later, Ellie is grateful Robb insisted they have breakfast in their chambers because it is the only semblance of privacy they receive for the remainder of the day. The newlyweds spend every minute with their guests, sharing meals and tea, answering countless questions, laughing at a thousand bad jokes, bidding farewell and expressing gratitude to all, and offering endless smiles to display their shared happiness. It's emotionally exhausting for the already devastated girl, she can hardly take much more, but she knows this is her entire life now.

Though it is not a feast, dinner is still loud and crowded. The king is drunk and going on about a hunt he wants organized. All the conversation blends together as Ellie feels herself fading away. She has spent most of the night thinking of all the things her mother has told her since coming to Winterfell. And looking at Cersei now, seeing the displeasure so plainly on her face, the eldest princess continues to fear for her future.

The perfect husband sits beside her. A man truly good who actually loves her. Could her life really end up the same way as her mother's because she loves someone else? Is she doomed to misery because she lacks the freedom of choice?

She looks at Robb who laughs at whatever her father is ranting about and he meets her gaze with a large smile. Her heart feels a bit lighter from the sight because it's an expression her father has never shown her mother. Her life could never be the same as Cersei's because her husband is nothing like Robert. Ellie may lack the freedom of choice to love who she wants, but maybe she has the choice to be miserable or not.

Just as she starts to truly believe that thought, her eyes shift to where Jon sits. He has already stood, perhaps sensing the revelation inside his love, and goes to leave the dining hall. The desire to follow him, to be with him if only for a moment has her standing as well. Her heart yearns to go wherever Jon does and she doesn't allow her mind to give her any reason not to, but her mother has different plans.

"Ellie," Cersei murmurs as to not bring any unwanted attention.

"I just want some air," the princess lies naturally.

"Just be careful, my sweet girl."

 _Keep your heart closed._

Ellie's longing to follow the man she truly loves feels like it cannot be ignored, but her duty is to his brother who sits beside her. He has promised to do anything to make their marriage happy and it's time she makes the same vow, even silently.

So, she sits down instead of following Jon as she planned. Robb, without looking at her, places his palm on her knee and squeezes in gently.

Ellie lays her hand on his and refuses to leave his side for the rest of the night.

* * *

I'm back!

I'm so sorry that it's been so long since my last update. I couldn't write for a while because of family things and then when I finally had the time, I had total writer's block. However, I've finally been able to get over that hump and I'm super excited to get back into it! I have to thank you all for the inspiration. Your reviews and messages are what really helped me to work through the block. :)

I struggled with this chapter because of their wedding night. I got reviews wanting more with the sex scenes so hopefully this is better! The next chapter will be more eventful, I promise.

Please review to let me know what you think! Your feedback is so important to me!

Thank you for reading, favoriting, and following. Special thanks to my amazing reviewers!

Hope to hear from you,

\- V :)


	9. Chapter 9

Eliana lies awake later that night while Robb sleeps beside her. She wishes she could rest as easily as him, but her mind just won't allow it. After hours pass of simply watching the flickering fire, she finally stops fighting her desire to leave. She carefully climbs out of bed as to not disturb her husband and finds the dress that was abandoned earlier.

Robb's nerves had clearly calmed from their first night together and he was more excited and eager for their second night. Though Ellie didn't feel the same, the night was easier without the worry of him realizing she had already lost her maidenhood. As far as she knows, her secret is safe and she will take it to the grave.

Hopefully, she won't think of it every moment until her grave.

After she pulls her dress back on, she looks back at Robb. She feels the toll on her heart. Thoughts of Jon are never far, no matter where she is or what she's doing. Even as she lays with her husband, she finds no release. Her heart is falling to pieces, but there is nothing she can do to stop it. It shouldn't be this way.

Silently, Ellie abandons their chambers. In the chill of the night, her feet guide her towards her haven. When the princess realizes where she's going, she stops short. She can't go back there. She can't go back to Jon. She belongs to Robb now, forever.

Ellie turns the other direction, forcing herself not to return to the broken tower. Jon wouldn't be there, she knows that, but their memories still live. Unfortunately, their memories are all over Winterfell. It's too late to turn back by the time she realizes she's in the stables. The image of a child Jon gaping in shock fills her mind. That first moment when she discovered the person that could make her feel free.

When the memory fades, she comes face to face with the grown version.

"Jon?"

"What are you doing here?"

"I…I don't know," Ellie admits. "I couldn't sleep."

"Me neither," Jon mutters.

"You couldn't go to the tower either?" He nods in answer. "Why did you come to the stables?"

Jon looks away from her, back towards the horse stalls where they once stood as children. Ellie takes a moment to look him over and realizes he's dressed for riding.

"Were you going to leave?" she demands.

"I thought I might. I thought it might be easier."

"Easier? It might be easier to go in the middle of the night without saying goodbye?"

"I didn't think we would ever talk again, Ellie. I already lost you, I don't need to watch any longer." His voice is gruff, frustrated, and hurt.

Ellie can't acknowledge his fear. She never thought they'd have a moment alone together again either. She knew she needed to stay away if she was going to do her duty and be the wife that Robb deserves.

"What about your brothers and sisters?"

Jon nods, "That's why I was going back. I know I can't really leave them like this."

"I'm sorry, Jon," Ellie whispers. "I'm sorry for all the pain I've caused you."

"Pain?" Jon chuckles humorlessly. "It was painful living here as a bastard. It was painful growing up without a mother and with my father's wife hating me. It was painful watching all my brothers and sisters being loved and worshipped knowing that I will never have that. But, Ellie, you are not painful."

"Look at everything I've done, Jon, everything I've ruined," she argues tearfully.

"I would go back to our first day in these stables and live the last six years all over again even knowing how it ends because I'd have more time with you. You haven't ruined anything, Ellie. I knew what would happen in the end." Jon reaches for Ellie but thinks better of it. "I love you, all of it is worth it for that."

…

With the men off on a hunt, Eliana finally has alone time. She barely spends a few moments in her own presence before she's desperate for distraction.

She finds her younger siblings and spends the better part of the morning with them. Ellie jokes and giggles with Myrcella and Tommen. It seems so natural to bond with them. Of course, she has always loved them, but she hardly knew them. They were children a thousand miles away. She loved them because that's what you do, you love your brothers and sisters. She wonders, though, if only briefly, what life would have been if she had stayed in Kings Landing?

Would the joy she felt growing up with the Starks as her siblings have been the same with her own? Or would that place along with her mother ruin her as her father predicted so many years ago?

It's a sad thought, but Eliana knows the answer already.

Later in the day, Ellie meets with Lady Cat. They enjoy tea and talk of married life. Her foster mother has always been someone the princess could confide in, but not about what is on her mind now. She could never tell Lady Stark that she did not love her son and, instead, loved the bastard that she hated so much. Ellie could never tell her that she didn't want Jon to go and the idea of him leaving her here made her sick. If she even mentioned Jon's name, Lady Cat's mood would sour immediately.

But Jon is all Ellie can think about.

"Is everything okay, dear?" Lady Cat asks gently.

"Yes, thank you," Ellie assures.

"I know it's difficult, but you'll get used to marriage. You and Robb will find your way together and things will become normal." Her mother-by-law's smile truly brings Ellie comfort and she's grateful.

There will be a new normal. It will just hurt until she gets there.

"I didn't know he loved me."

The words shock Ellie when they spill from her mouth, but Cat just laughs.

"No, when you're young and beautiful, all the boys seem to look at you the same. The rest of us see what you can't. Robb has been smitten with you for years."

"Why?"

"I think that's something you need to ask him, Ellie."

The princess nods reluctantly. How could she ask such a thing of Robb?

Lady Cat begins to offer some more advice when a scream rings through the air loud enough to reach the two women inside the castle.

"That's Bran!" Catelyn shouts. Ellie watches in surprise as she jumps up from her seat and runs towards the noise.

Ellie quickly follows and as soon as she's outside, another scream pierces the air, making her blood run cold. She runs as fast as she can to catch up to Cat who leads them both to the source of the sound. The broken tower comes into sight as well as the small crowd gathered at the bottom. When the two ladies are seen, a small path is created, but Eliana stops short when she sees what happened.

Lying there on the ground beneath the tower he loves to climb so much is Bran. Everything inside of Ellie seems to stop, time stands still, and panic threatens to choke her as she stares at the small boy she's come to love as her own brother. His legs are skewed in unnatural positions, there's blood pooling beneath him, and he isn't moving at all.

Noise invades her ears. She realizes they are Catelyn's screams and sobs. Others gather around, their voices all bleeding together to make one loud buzz. Ellie tears her eyes away from the boy and gazes up at the tower. Her eyes trace the path she's seen him take a hundred times before and never once did his foot slip. Her eyes shift to the source of a whining sound and finds Bran's nameless wolf howling in pain for his silent master.

Finally, this seems to trigger something inside of her, shaking the princess out of her frozen state and leaving everything to come crashing down on her shoulders.

She turns to the person closest to her. "Get Maester Luwin, tell him Bran has fallen," she orders.

"Yes, milady." The man runs off and Ellie turns to another.

"Send word to Lord Stark. Tell him they must return immediately."

"Yes, Lady Stark."

"Did Jon Snow go on the hunt?" she asks a nearby woman.

"I don't know, milady."

"Look for him," she commands.

Taking a deep breath, Ellie move towards Bran and Cat, telling herself that she must stay calm because her mother-by-law cannot. The closer she gets, the more she sees of his injuries and tears begin to burn her eyes.

"It will be okay," she whispers.

But she's not sure if she truly believes that.

…

By the time Lord Stark bursts through the door of the sickroom, everything that can be done for Bran has been. They moved quickly – Maester Luwin, Septa Mordane, and Ellie – to set his bones and stop his bleeding. The Maester would not allow Catelyn to help because she was so inconsolable. The only thing that washed out her sobs was the sickening sound of bones being forced back into place.

As Ellie steps back to allow Ned to get near his son, whatever calmness she managed to hold onto for so long fades suddenly. She realizes that Bran's blood stains her hands and she rushes to the basin of water to scrub the crimson away as tears burn her eyes. Despite how rough she is and the color seeping into the fresh water, it still tints her hands. She begins to tremble while images of Bran's mangled body hammer her brain. She had been so steady and strong taking orders from Maester Luwin, but now…

"My lady," Septa Mordane's soft voice interrupts her thoughts. "Shall we go speak to the others?"

Turning to the older woman, the princess realizes her expectation. She is Lady Stark, maybe not _the_ Lady Stark, but since the other one is preoccupied, and Lord Stark is trying to comfort her, Eliana is the only one left to offer an explanation. The others must be waiting not far outside of the sickroom, worried beyond belief right now. If she goes out there just as worried, there will be no comfort.

Ellie dries her shaking hands, willing herself to find that calm she held onto earlier.

"Yes," she agrees quietly, forcing her voice to be steady. "Let's find them."

Septa leads her to where many are gathered waiting. Ellie focuses on her breathing to control her emotions for the others. The moment she reaches the room, her eyes find Jon and her heart stutters at the sadness swimming in his dark orbs. Beside him, Robb steps forward, his face stricken with fear. Guilt twists her stomach. Her gaze should fall on her husband first and foremost.

"Ellie!" Rickon's shaky cry brings the princess back to the issue at hand as he rushes towards her. His little arms wrap around her waist while he buries his face in her skirt.

She smooths his wild curls with a gentle hand, feeling the same trigger as before when Bran first fell. Being needed seems to give Ellie more strength.

"What's going on?" Robb questions in a strained voice.

Eliana's eyes find his, feeling more concerned just from his tone as she's never heard him this way. The usual blue skies have become stormy with all the worry and uncertainty shining in his gaze. She looks away to catch her breath from the intensity of his emotions and that's when she notices everyone is watching her. Sansa and Arya are sitting in nearby chairs, the first teary-eyed and struggling to keep in her sobs and the other solemn and unsure. The king and queen are sitting on the other side with Jaime standing behind them.

Both men seem more serious than normal, but it's Cersei's expression that confuses Ellie. The queen watches her daughter closely with caution hardening her green eyes. The lack of concern in her gaze startles the princess, but Robb's voice forces her attention to shift back.

"He fell from the tower, but no one saw it happen," she explains. Rickon's arms tighten around her waist, so she holds him closer in return. "He's badly hurt and he's broken several bones, but Maester Luwin has taken care of him and done everything he can. He hasn't woken up yet."

"Is Bran going to die?" Rickon sniffles, looking up at her with tear-stained cheeks.

What can she say? She has no idea if he will or not. In truth, the prospect of him living doesn't seem likely. Every time Ellie blinks, she sees Bran's legs skewed at the bottom of the tower, she hears his bones cracking, feels his blood on her hands. How can she lie and say she believes he will be okay? But then, how can she look into Rickon's innocent eyes and say that he won't?

Ellie kneels to be on the same level as the young boy and wipes away his tears with her thumbs. "Bran is strong and we're all going to take care of him."

She looks up to see her husband standing close and sees the same innocence in his eyes. All she can hope for, aside from Bran's health, is that she can comfort Robb, Rickon, and the rest of her family.

…

Ellie is thoroughly exhausted and emotionally drained. She hasn't had much time to truly process the day's events. Now, with quiet air around her, the images of Bran's mangled body consume her mind. She shakes as she creeps down the hall, careful not let anyone know she's around. Though, she doesn't want to be thinking of it nonstop, she needs break from caring for others if just for a moment.

She spent all her time after Bran's fall consoling the others. It took a long time for Sansa to calm her sobs, but Ellie had to immediately shift her focus to Rickon who clung to her for the rest of the day and night. The princess had only just gotten him to sleep and her skirt is still soaked with his tears.

Knowing Robb waits for her in their chambers, she wishes she could move faster. Of all people she owes her attention to, it would be her husband. However, her muscles insist on a slow, uninterrupted journey in the shadows so her mind can gain control over her wavering heart.

Ellie knows the halls like the back of her hand, so she can move through silently without any light. She doesn't want to be stopped on her way back. She only intends on speaking to one more person tonight and that is Robb. As she nears a turn in the hall, she hears voices. Straight will take her to her marriage chambers, but a left takes her towards the wing holding their royal guests.

"I did what I had to do," a voice speaks so softly, Ellie can barely hear.

Tempted by curiosity, she turns left. There's a room with the door closed but unlatched like it was forgotten. The sound escapes from the smallest crack left from this mistake. Ellie realizes it is her mother's guest chambers and gets as close as she dares to hear the rest.

"But did you see her? Covered in blood like a maid…" Cersei's voice is hushed, but clearly upset.

"She was just helping the Starks. She never shied from getting her hands dirty." The other voice, so unworried, is her Uncle Jaime.

"She shouldn't have had to deal with that," her mother sighs sadly.

"No," Jaime agrees. "But imagine what she would have had to deal with if the boy hadn't _fallen_."

A shadow flickers behind the door telling Ellie she must leave before she's caught. She moves faster back towards her own chambers, desperate now to latch the door and not hear anything at all. They were obviously speaking about her, but Jaime's words swirl through her mind.

What would she have dealt with if Bran didn't fall?

And why did her Uncle Jaime say it the way he had?

* * *

Hello!

I'm back! I'm not even going to give excuses, but I am very sorry that it's taken a ridiculously long time to update.

This is a short chapter, but I wanted to put something out so you know I'm still here and I'm ready to get back into it. I hope you liked it. :)

On another note, I hope everyone is well, safe, and healthy. I know things are getting crazy.

Thank you to everyone who has read, favorited, and followed. Special thanks to my amazing reviewers.

Hope to hear from you,

-V :)


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